Memories of a monk
by Diana Wong
Summary: Sanzo's gone missing. Everyone thinks he's dead until one day when Goku, Hakkai and Gojyo rescues a familiar blond from some perverts. Unfortunately the blonde doesn't seem to recognize them. THIS IS A YAOI FANFIC! DON'T LIKE? DON'T READ! Hakkai/Sanzo
1. Prologue

Note: Hey everyone! This is the first time I'm writing a Saiyuki fanfic! I was watching the Saiyuki series again and thought... WHY NOT? So... yeah, this is a product of my fantasy. Deal with it. There will be some kind of pairing. I just don't know who will be with who yet. ^^'' Sorry about that, but this is a yaoi fic.

Disclaimer: The only thing I own here is Sarashe and other minor things.

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><p>Prologue<p>

"Gojyo! A little help over here?" Hakkai yelled while trying to fight off ten different demons at the same time. He was really tired since the fight had been going on for hours. Gojyo was somewhere behind him and still able to fight with full strength. He couldn't see Sanzo or Goku anywhere and it made him a little worried. Gojyo soon came to his aid and took care of the demons. Hakkai took a deep breath and smiled.

"Thanks Gojyo. I guess that takes care of our side. Have you seen Goku or Sanzo anywhere?" He asked. The redhead looked at him and shook his head.

"No, but my guess is that they're in the middle of that crowd." He said and pointed towards some demons. Hakkai looked in the direction he pointed.

"You think they can handle it themselves?" He asked. Gojyo laughed.

"Come on! It's Goku we're talking about! I wouldn't worry about them if I were you. Goku can take care of himself AND Sanzo." He said and patted Hakkai's back.

"I guess so." Hakkai said at the same time as the demons turned to dust. They immediately spotted Goku and Sanzo. Goku were doing some kind of victory dance and Sanzo… Well, he looked really annoyed.

"Stop it you damn monkey!" He said and hit him with the fan he usually carried. Goku whined and stopped. Hakkai and Gojyo laughed.

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><p>The demons that had attacked them were sent by a new enemy. They did not yet know this enemy's name, but they did know that he was powerful and that he wanted to take Sanzo's life, but they had heard that story before. Sanzo looked really tired. He was slightly wounded, but seemed to be okay otherwise. Goku had done a nice job protecting the monk. Sanzo looked at his banishing gun and sighed.<p>

"Damn… I'm out of bullets…" he mumbled and put it away. This always happened sooner or later. He had preferred later though.

"Don't worry Sanzo. We'll get new ones." Hakkai said with a smile. Sanzo just simply nodded. Suddenly he felt something grab a hold of his foot. He looked down but couldn't see anything. Something wrapped itself around his arms and chest and something that felt like a hand covered his mouth. Goku, Hakkai and Gojyo didn't notice anything. They were to busy joking with each other and even if they did look at Sanzo they would only see him standing still. The invisible thing that now was wrapped around his entire body hugged him tighter. It was becoming hard to breath. He tried to move his arms, but nothing happened. Goku looked at him.

"Hey, Sanzo, are you okay? You look a bit pale." He said. Sanzo tried to shake his head, but he couldn't move at all.

"Leave him alone. He's probably in bitch mode again." Gojyo said. If Sanzo wasn't choking he would have kicked the redhead's ass and shot him in the nuts, but unfortunately he was beginning to lose conscious. His eyes closed. His eyelids were too heavy to keep them open.

"Sanzo?" Goku slowly walked towards the monk. The invisible thing let go of the blond and he fell to the ground. Hakkai, Gojyo and Goku blinked in surprise.

"Sanzo!" Goku hurried over to him and shook him violently.

"Wake up Sanzo! Sanzo!" Hakkai were right beside him in a matter of seconds. He checked his breathing.

"He's breathing…" Hakkai said. A sudden laugh gained their attention. They spun around to see were the laugh came from. A demon with long silver hair and deep blue eyes looked at them in contempt.

"Well, hello Sanzo party. I hope I didn't scare you by making the little monk faint?" He said. Goku stood up and glared at him.

"You… You did this to Sanzo?" He said, rage visible in his eyes.

"Oh my. You're one scary little boy." The demon said. Gojyo glared at him.

"And who might you be?" he asked. The demon took his gaze off of Goku and looked at Gojyo instead.

"How rude of me! I am Sarashe, the one who sent the demons after you." He said and smiled.

"Sarashe? Never heard of you!" Gojyo said. Sarashe laughed.

"Of course you haven't. I have many disguises. Well, I guess I'll finish my goal here and leave you alone." He looked at Gojyo, Hakkai and Goku, then at Sanzo and the cliff fifty meters behind them.

"Goodbye Genjo Sanzo." Sarashe made a swift motion with his hand and the ground began to shake.

"What's going on!" Goku yelled and jumped back as the ground beneath him exploded. Sarashe watched them dance around the exploding ground until they were separated from Sanzo. That's when he made his move. He quickly grabbed a hold of the priest's waist and sprinted towards the edge of the cliff. Hakkai noticed it first.

"Damn! His goal was to get us away from Sanzo!" He yelled. Goku turned around. He could see Sarashe get closer to the edge by the second. He ran after him. Sarashe stopped and looked over the edge. The ocean. He turned around to smile at Goku before he tossed Sanzo over the edge.

"NO!" Goku threw himself forward and tried to grab Sanzo before he fell to a certain death, but all he got hold of was a few golden strands of hair. Sanzo was gone.

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><p>"It's been hours Goku! If you haven't found him yet, you never will!" Gojyo said. Sarashe had disappeared right after Goku's attempt to save Sanzo. All they had left of the priest was three strands of golden hair and the script he always wore around his shoulders. It had fallen off when Sarashe had picked him up. Now Goku desperately tried to find his friend in the cold water, but there was no sign of him.<p>

"Goku, Sanzo is…" Hakkai began, but Goku interrupted him.

"NO! Sanzo's not gone! I know he's alive! I can feel it and I'm going to find him!" Hakkai and Gojyo could only watch him dive after Sanzo. They knew it was nearly impossible to survive a fall like that.

"Goku…" Hakkai said. Gojyo's right eyebrow twitched and he came to his feet.

"Listen now you stupid monkey! Sanzo won't come back. He is gone!" He said and literarily dragged Goku out of the water. The smaller boy screamed and tried to get back into the ocean. Gojyo spun him around and looked him deep into the eyes.

"Sanzo's gone, Goku. Do you understand? He won't come back." Goku stared at him for a while before he burst into tears.

"Sanzo!" He cried out. The world became quiet and the only thing that could be heard was Goku's quiet sobs.


	2. Ch one: Perverts will always be a pest

Hello everyone! Chapter one is here! Please write me a review when you're done reading and please be nice! ^^ Tell me what you think and if you think it's bad then say so in a nice way. Thank you.

Disclaimer: Me no own Saiyuki. Me own Sarashe and other minor things.

REMEMBER THAT THIS IS A YAOI STORY! PAIRINGS ARE NOW DECIDED!

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><p>Chapter 1 – Perverts will always be a pest<p>

Hakkai's dairy entry 1

_March 6_

_It's been three years since Sanzo died. Goku's still depressed. Gojyo has gotten himself a job as a bartender. The world is in chaos, but we can still manage. Demons attack from time to time, but they're small fry. The big ones like Sarashe are doing much worse things. I'm always at home and taking care of Goku. He often sits by the window with Sanso's script in his knee and the golden hair in his hands. I can see that he misses him terribly. I miss Sanzo too, but I can't afford to be sad all the time. I do think about him sometimes, but I often have so much to do in the house that I don't have the time to think. Today I'll take Goku to the bar to visit Gojyo. He said he wanted us to visit him at work sometime. I just hope this will cheer Goku up. He can't grieve Sanzo's death forever. Oh, now I can hear him cry. I never actually saw him cry before Sanzo died. I guess the only thing I can do is to wait._

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><p>Hakkai's POV<p>

I carefully opened the door to look inside. Goku was sitting by the window as expected. I walked inside and put a hand on his shoulder.

"It's time to go visit Gojyo at the bar, Goku." I said. He looked at me with that sad expression he often had nowadays. I took the sacred script from him and placed it in the bag I carried with me. Then I took Sanzo's hair from his hands and carefully put it on the table beside Goku's bed. Goku jumped down from the window and quietly followed me out of the room. I was starting to get worried about him. He hardly ate anything when served food. He participated in every fight, but didn't say anything while killing the attackers. We walked through the small town until we came to the tavern. I waited for Goku to get inside until I followed him. Gojyo waved at us from behind the bar disk. Goku sat down on one of the bar stools. I followed his example.

"Hello Gojyo. How's it going?" I asked and smiled. Gojyo smiled back as he poured another customer a glass of rum.

"It goes pretty well. I think I'll get a raise actually. The boss has been really nice this past week." He then looked at Goku and leaned over the disk to whisper into my ear.

"Is he still just sitting in his room?" He asked. I nodded. Unfortunately that was the case. I had left Hakuryu to guard the house. I suspected the little dragon like creature was sleeping, but nothing had happened the past month so it didn't really matter. Hakuryu often spent time with Goku when he sat on his room by himself.

"That's bad. Do you know what else is bad?" Gojyo said and glared at something behind me. I turned around to see what he was glaring at. A large group of men were drinking and talking way too loud for my liking.

"I get your point." I said. One if the men stood up.

"Sit still pretty boy! We just want to play with you!" He grabbed a pale wrist.

"Gojyo. They're harassing someone." I said. Gojyo sighed and jumped over the bar disk.

"Not again. Will you help me with this one Hakkai?" I smiled and nodded.

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><p>"Hey, if you want to rape one of our customers then do it after you're done here!" Gojyo said and knocked on one of the men's shoulder. The man turned around to look at Gojyo.<p>

"Get lost." He said and then turned back to cheering on his friend.

"No, please, let me go." We heard a male voice say. Gojyo and I looked at each other. That voice… It couldn't be…

"I said not to do it here!" Gojyo yelled and grabbed the man we just talked with by the collar and threw him to the ground and soon the fight began. There were fists and legs everywhere, but we managed to throw them out pretty quickly. We then turned around to look at the victim. He was dressed in a black shirt and white jeans. His hair was much longer, but… it was Sanzo. We stared at him for a moment and he stared back at us. Gojyo then laughed happily and hugged him. He screamed and quickly backed away from Gojyo. The redhead looked shocked.

"Hey… Sanzo, it's me, Gojyo. Don't you recognize me?" Poor Sanzo was shivering and his eyes were wide open in pure terror. Gojyo reached out for him.

"No! Don't touch me! Please don't touch me! Don't touch me… Please. Don't touch me… Don't…" And he began sobbing. Both Gojyo and I stared at him. This was Sanzo alright, but he didn't… act like Sanzo. I sat down in front of my friend and put a hand on his shoulder. He flinched and looked at me, scared. I smiled at him.

"Don't worry. We're not going to hurt you. Just calm down." I said and gave him a hug. After a little while I felt him relax into my arms. Good. I slowly let go of him and looked into his eyes.

"Can you stand?" I asked and he nodded slowly. I smiled and helped him on his feet, but as soon as Gojyo took a step forward he started to shiver again. I patted the blond on the shoulder.

"There's no need to be scared of Gojyo. He's with me. His a bit foul mouthed, but he is a nice guy." Sanzo looked at me and then Gojyo. He nodded slightly.

"Come sit with us." I said and he nodded again. We went back to the bar. Goku looked up from his feet when he heard us come back. His eyes widened with disbelief.

"Sanzo!" He gasped. Sanzo quickly hid behind me.

"Why is everyone calling me that?" I heard him mumble. He didn't remember? That explained his behaviour. I sat down beside Goku and motioned for Sanzo to sit beside me. He sat down. I leaned closer to Goku.

"He doesn't remember anything Goku. Just act like he's someone you don't know." I whispered. Goku nodded slowly. For a short moment I could se pain in his eyes. Poor Goku.

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><p>It turned out that Sanzo now called himself Adrian and that he lived in the outskirts of town with an old lady. Apparently he had been having problems with perverts for quite a while. It didn't surprise me at all. Sanzo was an attractive man after all.<p>

"Is the old lady your only family Adrian?" I asked politely. He shook his head. He still hadn't touched the whiskey Gojyo had poured for him.

"I don't know Hakkai. I can't remember anything. I don't even know my real name. Jane, the old lady I told you about, found me in an alley and has taken care of me ever since. She was the one who gave me the name I use now." He said. I nodded slightly. I wondered how he got from the ocean to an alley of this town.

"You're one of us!" Goku suddenly yelled. It seemed that he couldn't take it anymore. Sanzo flinched.

"What? I'm… wait… I don't understand…" He stuttered. He then looked at me and I sighed.

"Okay, listen closely now Adrian. Your real name is Genjo Sanzo. You are a priest with high status. You were sent on a quest to stop some demons from reviving some other demon. Me, Gojyo and Goku were to travel with you. We managed to stop the demons, but now we're chasing after another demon. Did you get all that?" Sanzo stared at me. He was even paler then usual. He suddenly grabbed the glass of whiskey and drank it all in one swift gulp.

"Pour me another one…" He said to Gojyo, who obliged. He then turned towards me again.

"You can't be serious! Me? A priest? Are you kidding? If so it's not funny. I may only have two years worth of memories, but…" This is where I interrupted.

"Did you say two years?" I asked surprised. Sanzo nodded. He had been gone for three years, but only had memories for the past two years? What happened after he got tossed into the ocean? I looked him in the eyes.

"I'm not joking with you and I can prove it." I said. Sanzo stared at me.

"Okay. Prove it." He said. I smiled.

"I bet you wore white robes when Jane found you." Silence… Seems he couldn't argue with that. He sighed.

"Okay… Let's say that I was this… Sanzo of yours… What would happen to me?" He asked.

"We would go straight to Jane's place to get your things and explain the situation and then you would come with us. It would be nice if you could recover your memories too." Sanzo was quiet for a couple of seconds before he looked at me and the others.

"Okay… I'll go with you…"

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><p>Sanzo's POV<p>

This was way too much for me! First I go to the marketplace and someone steals my money! Then I go to the tavern to speak with the owner as I promised Jane, but instead get sexually harassed and now I'm apparently Genjo Sanzo, the priest. Way too much for one day. Now I was leading… my friends? Could I call them that? I barely knew them, but since we have a past together I guess… I could? I was leading my friends to Jane's house and when we got there she was outside tending to her precious flowers. She looked up when she heard us coming.

"Adrian! You're back! I almost thought you disappeared again!" She said and hugged me tightly. I hugged her back and smiled.

"No, these fine gentlemen helped me out." I said. That's when she spotted Gojyo, Hakkai and Goku.

"Oh, hello." She said and smiled towards them. They waved and smiled back.

"They are my friends from before you found me." I said. Jane suddenly became very serious and she gave them a suspicious look.

"Oh, Adrian! People have tried to trick you before! Don't let them…" I didn't let her finish.

"It's okay Jane. They know about the weird robes." I said. It seemed to calm her down a little.

"Oh, if that's the case. Welcome boys!" She walked over to them to shake their hands.

"Tell me, who is my little Adrian?" She asked. The question seemed to be directed towards Hakkai.

"He's… Uhm… He's Genjo Sanzo ma'am." He said reluctantly. Jane gasped and looked at me.

"Genjo Sanzo? Have I been taking care of the priest Genjo Sanzo?" she said and quickly walked back to me. She hugged me again and patted my head.

"And the poor thing doesn't even remember anything." She said. It almost sounded like she was about to cry.

"It's okay. You can always call me Adrian, Jane." I said. Those words really made her cry.

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><p>Hakkai's POV<p>

Sanzo was back in his normal clothes and the script was back on his shoulders. When we had put it on him he had just raised an eyebrow. He probably thought of it as weird. Now we all sat down around the table and enjoyed a meal that I… and surprisingly enough Sanzo, had cooked. Goku's appetite was back again and he ate like a whole army and of course that involved fighting with Gojyo. Sanzo just sat quietly and poked his peas with his chopsticks. He looked like he didn't know how to act. Poor guy. Suddenly he stood up.

"Thanks for the food." He said quietly and left. He had hardly touched his food at all. Gojyo and Goku looked after him.

"Can I have his food?" Goku then asked and Gojyo just had to start a fight over Sanzo's plate. Damn children.

I looked at the clock for the seventeenth time that night. It was just past twelve and I couldn't sleep. Gojyo and I had our own rooms and Sanzo slept in the same room as Goku. I started to wonder if that really was such a great idea. I flinched when I heard the door open and got ready to attack.

"Hakkai?" I sighed. It was Sanzo's voice.

"I'm awake." I said and sat up. Sanzo came into the room. He looked down on his feet.

"Well… I… Can I sleep with you?" He asked. I blinked in surprise.

"Why? Aren't you feeling comfortable in Goku's room?" I asked. He shook his head.

"No… I only feel comfortable with you so far." He said quietly. This made me smile. If this was the normal Sanzo it would never had happened. I nodded.

"Sure. Come over here." I said. He nodded and tiptoed across the floor as to not make the old floor creak. He then laid down beside me.

"Good night Hakkai." He said softly.

"Good night Sanzo." I answered.

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><p>Hakkai's diary entry 2<p>

_March 6 evening_

_Today we found Sanzo. I can't believe we've been in the same town as him for the past two years without even knowing! We've believed he was dead, but now he's with us again. It's too bad he can't remember anything though. He can only remember the past two years, which makes me wonder what really happened to him after Sarashe's attack. Will he ever get his memories back so he can tell us? I know you shouldn't rush these things. It could be bad for the one with memory loss. It's just so… tempting. I like him the way he is now though. He's sleeping beside me at the moment. I've never really taken any time to look at his face, but I have to say that he's really beautiful when he's asleep. I also like to see his honest smile. That's also new. His breath against my skin is so warm. It's a proof that he really is alive. It's hard for me not to touch his golden hair or his face when I see him like this. He's just like a fallen angel. No, a god. I should stop writing now or I might accidentally wake him up. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?_


	3. Ch two: The smile they hadn't seen

Chapter 2! YAY! Okay! So I've decided that the pairings are Hakkai/Sanzo and a little of Gojyo/Sanzo. Goku just loves Sanzo in his own weird overptotective way. Oh, and Sarashe is evil if you missed that.

Disclaimer: Me no own Saiyuki. Me own Sarashe and other minor things.

Should I put in warnings here? ... Nah, it's too much work. It is a yaoi, what do you expect? A woman? Go home.

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><p>Chapter 2 – The smile they hadn't seen<p>

Hakkai's dairy entry 3

_March 17_

_Sanzo's been with us for eleven days now. He still sleeps with me in my room since Goku kind of scare him. I feel sorry for Goku, but that's what you get for being too energetic I guess. Yesterday Gojyo put a banishing gun in Sanzo's hand and told him to shoot demons that attacked him. Sanzo nearly dropped the gun! I guess the idea of taking another's life isn't very tempting. I don't think so either, but I do what I have to do. It seems like Sarashe still doesn't know Sanzo's alive and that's a good thing. He would probably be on his way here if he knew. Hakuryu seems to like this new Sanzo. He often stays with him and Sanzo seems to have taken a liking to him. It's very rare not to see them together. When it comes to Gojyo the situation is a bit worse. As soon as Gojyo's in the same room Sanzo freezes and becomes quiet. Why would he be scared of Gojyo? I mean Gojyo is… Okay, I have to admit that he has sides that could scare people. Like those perverted thoughts he has... I think I actually found the problem. I'll take care of it later._

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><p>Hakkai's POV<p>

"Sanzo, you have to eat or you will get sick." I said to the closed the door. I knocked on the door for the third time and Sanzo still refused to open.

"I'm not hungry." Came the quiet reply from the other side. I sighed.

"Sanzo, it will only be you and me. Goku and Gojyo are out taking care of a demon problem." I tried. It was quiet for a while and then I heard a small click and the door opened a little. Sanzo peeked out through the small opening.

"Really?" He asked. I nodded and smiled at him.

"Yes. I've cooked something really nice this time and I want you to try it." Sanzo gave in. He came out if his room. He looked thinner than usual. I really had to make him eat more. I took his hand and lead him to the dinner table. He looked around as if to really make sure that Gojyo and Goku weren't there. He then looked at me.

"Where's Hakuryu?" He asked and sat down. I sat down on the other side of the table.

"He's taking a nap in the tree outside if you want to play with him later." I said and put some food on Sanzo's plate. He nodded quietly and started to eat. I noticed his hands trembling. I knew he weren't scared of me since we slept in the same bed, so that couldn't be the reason.

"Is something the matter? Are you not feeling well?" I asked worriedly. He avoided my gaze.

"I… I've been feeling a bit weird… lately." He said and ate some more rice. I raised an eyebrow.

"What do you mean by weird?" I asked. Sanzo looked around again.

"Like… Someone's watching me." He said and looked into my eyes. His normally icy glare was more like a gentle gaze. I really like those deep blue eyes that sometimes look like they're purple.

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><p>Sanzo was now outside playing with Hakuryu. It's a nice change, but I still miss the old Sanzo. While he was outside I wandered around the house. Sanzo had said that he felt as if someone was watching him. I couldn't find anything that proved that someone actually did watch him and I couldn't sense any demons. It was probably a human if someone was watching him, but why would a human keep an eye on Sanzo? I stopped to look at the priest and Hakuryu. Sanzo looked really happy. He never looked like that before. He was always grumpy or annoyed before. I heard him laugh. I've never heard him laugh like that before. If he ever did regain his memories… Would this side of him disappear then? I would love to see the old grumpy Sanzo laugh and smile like that. He had put his golden hair in a ponytail. It made me feel like I had seen him like that before. I had this picture in my head with Sanzo wearing light purple clothes and his hair in a ponytail. I know he's never looked like that, but still… It was weird. Hakuryu licked him on the nose and it made him laugh again. I laughed too. He noticed me.<p>

"Hakkai, would you like to join us in a game?" He asked with a bright smile. I shook my head.

"Thanks, but no thanks." I said politely. Sanzo looked at me. Did he do that puppy eyes thing that Goku usually did? Never thought I'd see that.

"Why not?" He asked innocently. I smiled.

"I have to clean, but you two can play all you want. I suggest you leave your robes and the scripture inside." Sanzo nodded and stood up. He took the scripture off of his shoulders and undid his robes. The clothes that he wore underneath the white robes just made him look even more stunning. He quickly went inside the house to leave them in our room before he came out again.

"Good luck with the cleaning Hakkai." He said and gave me a quick hug before he and Hakuryu disappeared to the backside. I shook my head. A playful, childlike Sanzo. You see something new everyday.

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><p>Gojyo's POV<p>

"Okay, that should be the last of them." I said and smiled triumphantly.

"Let's go back to Sanzo and Hakkai, Goku." Goku sighed as soon as I mentioned Sanzo. First the little monkey is depressed that Sanzo's dead and now he's depressed when it turns out he's alive. This damn monkey is so irritating.

"What is it now monkey?" I asked and sighed myself. I just had to ask! Why did I have to ask? Why am I so stupid? Goku looked at his feet.

"Well… It's just that I miss Sanzo. I know that he's with us, but I miss the old one, the one that shot at us with his banishing gun if we became too noisy. Sorry Kappa, but I just can't help it." My eyebrow twitched. Why did he have to call me kappa now of all times! I told myself to calm down. I could probably let that one slip. Probably…

"Being depressed won't help him recover his memory. What you should do is to stay strong and help him to remember you again. Got it?" I said and scratched my neck. Damn I hated these stupid speeches. Goku smiled at me.

"Thanks Gojyo. You really helped." He said. Great, now I had a grateful monkey with me. I seriously hate my life.

* * *

><p>We were soon back. Hakkai saw us coming and waved. We stopped to talk to him, but he just smiled and said:<p>

"Go to the backyard and you will see something unbelievable." Goku and I looked at each other and carefully looked around the corner of the house. Sanzo was lying on the ground with Hakuryu on his stomach. He was laughing and smiling. I couldn't believe it. I'd never thought I'd see something so rare. Goku's mouth was hanging open. I guess mine was too.

"Close your mouth monkey." I said.

"Close your own." He answered. We stared at Sanzo for a couple of minutes before returning to Hakkai.

"Un-fucking-believable!" I said.

"Is Sanzo smiling and laughing like a happy child? This is… This is… This is great blackmailing material! Do we have a camera?" Both Hakkai and Goku hit me on my head.

"Don't you even dare." Hakkai said with a smile. I glared at him.

"Don't destroy my fun." I whined. Hakkai was still smiling and it started to creep me out.

"Uh… Dude, why are you looking at me like that?" I carefully said.

"Have you been sexually harassing Sanzo?" He suddenly asked. I stared at him.

"Have I…? Are you nuts? Why would you think that? I wouldn't do that to a man with amnesia." My answer made Hakkai sigh.

"Well, I thought that could be it since you are a pervert and Sanzo is really scared of you." I glared at him.

"You have no faith in me at all huh?"

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><p>Goku's POV<p>

While Hakkai and Gojyo were talking I decided to go to Sanzo. He quickly sat up when he saw me and hugged Hakuryu tightly. I hate to see him react like that when he sees me. A glare would have been better. I smiled.

"Hey, take it easy Sanzo. You don't have to be on your guard with me." I said and sat down beside him. He looked at me and let go how Hakuryu. The little dragon sat on his leg and looked at me too. I put a hand on Sanzo's shoulder and he seemed to relax a little.

"It seemed like you two were having fun and I just wanted to ask if I could join." I said. He looked surprised and then he smiled.

"Of course Goku." He said and laughed a little. I laughed myself. I finally talked to him like a normal person! He looked at Hakuryu for a while and then back to me.

"Goku?" He said reluctantly.

"What is it Sanzo?" I asked. He looked away again to pet Hakuryu.

"What… What kind of relationship did we have before I lost my memories and how come I wasn't with you when it happened?" He asked. I blinked in surprise. Of course he would want to know. As far as he knew we were total strangers to him and the only one he had opened up to so far was Hakkai.

"Well…" I said and thought for a while.

"I guess you could call me and you friends. You often hit me with your paper fan whenever you got annoyed or shot at me with your banishing gun. You often complained about me always being hungry, but we always had each others backs." I said. He nodded slowly.

"And Hakkai and Gojyo?" He asked.

"You actually treated Gojyo the same way as me and yes, he's always been a pervert. I think he has a crush on you." The statement made Sanzo blush a little. It was kind of nice actually seeing him be so shy.

"As for Hakkai… I think he's the only one you had some kind of respect for. You never hit him or shot at him and most of your conversations were with him. About the fact that you weren't with us when you lost your memories… There was this demon that separated you from us by throwing you off a cliff and down into the ocean. We couldn't find you and we assumed you were dead." He looked at me thoughtfully.

"A demon? What was this demon's name? Must be a powerful one if he managed to do that. Hakkai told me you're pretty strong." He said. I smiled at him.

"You're pretty strong yourself! The demon's name was Sarashe." I answered.

"Sarashe…" He said slowly. Suddenly he sat bent over gasping. He was clutching his head as if it was going to blow up.

"What… is happening…" I heard him say. He let out small pained noises. I did the first thing I thought of.

"Hakkai! Gojyo! Come here quickly!" I shouted.

* * *

><p>Hakkai's POV<p>

"Hakkai! Gojyo! Come here quickly!"

"Was that Goku?" Gojyo asked surprised.

"Yes, it was. It came from the backyard!" I answered and we quickly ran to where Goku and Sanzo sat. Poor Sanzo was clutching his head, letting out noises of pain. I could see pearls on sweat on his forehead.

"What the hell did you do to him you damn monkey?" Gojyo yelled. Goku glared at him.

"I didn't do anything! He asked me about our relationships and how we got separated! I just answered his questions! Hakkai, what's happening to him?" Goku said and turned his attention towards me.

"I think he might be having a very unpleasant flashback or something might be blocking a memory that reacted to something you said. Exactly what did you say when he became like this?" I said and put my hands on Sanzo's shoulders.

"I told him it was Sarashe who threw him into the ocean. He repeated his name and became like this! He won't die will he?" Goku said. I could see the worry in his eyes. I gave him a small smile.

"Don't worry Goku. You don't die of something like this. It's just really painful for body and mind, but if this goes on we might not be able to make contact with him anymore." I said. Sanzo screamed. It made us all concentrate on him again. His eyes were wide open and tears were streaming down his face.

"Make it stop. Please make it stop." He repeated over and over again. I hugged him. He was shivering like mad. Suddenly he became quiet and his body got heavy. I looked at his face. His eyes were closed.

"He fainted."

* * *

><p>Goku was once again depressed. He blamed himself for making Sanzo be in so much pain. Both I and Gojyo told him that it wasn't his fault, but he still blamed himself. Sanzo was lying in our bed, still unconscious. It had been an hour since he fainted. It was awfully quiet at the moment.<p>

"How is he?" Gojyo asked and looked at me.

"He's been better, but it's not critical." I answered. I heard a quiet moan and looked at the bed Sanzo was lying in. He was still unconscious, but he seemed to be having a dream. Gojyo and I moved to closer. He seemed to be mumbling something. We got even closer.

"No… Don't… Please don't… Anything but that… Goku… Hakkai… Gojyo… Help me…" was what he said. I looked at Gojyo.

"Do you think he's dreaming about an unpleasant memory?" Gojyo asked. I nodded.

"Probably and if he really asked for us to come save him it must have been a really unpleasant memory. The Sanzo I know would never beg like that." I said. Gojyo nodded.

"Yeah, but on the other hand I think the current Sanzo would." Sanzo let out another moan and opened his eyes.

"What… happened?" He asked and tried to sit up. I gently held him down.

"No, you should lie down and rest. You fainted. Do you remember what happened before that?" I asked. He looked at me.

"I think Goku told me… Sarashe was it? Why would he try to kill me?" He said. I smiled.

"We'll save that question for later. Just rest for now." He nodded and closed his eyes again.

* * *

><p>Hakkai's diary entry 4<p>

_March 17 evening_

_We finally cheered Goku up. It took about three hours, but at least he's happy again. He's asleep now. Gojyo's out with some woman from town. Sanzo's lying beside me and sleeping. It seems that he doesn't remember anything after Goku told him that it was Sarashe who tried to kill him. That's too bad. He could be lying, but I don't think so. He was confused for real. I fear that these lost memories might be too painful and that's why he can't remember. If that's so it may be that he doesn't want to remember and that would be a bad thing. If he doesn't want to remember we will probably have a hard time recovering his memories. Oh, Sanzo, can't you just start to remember a little? It's so sad to think about it right now so I guess I'll change topic. Lately I've found myself watching Sanzo a lot. I watch him eat. I watch him sleep before I go to bed. I watch him play with Hakuryu. I even watch him when he's not doing anything. I'm feeling drawn to him. It couldn't be love because I promised myself to never love another again. Maybe I just find him pretty? That has to be it. I'm just admiring his pale skin or something like that. It's starting to get late. Tomorrow we'll head out again. Good night._


	4. Ch three: I do, I don't

Guess who's back? Back again. I am back, tell your friends! XD Just had to. So here's chapter 3! There's a little surprise for you in it. Tell me if you find it. (It's and obvious one ^^'') I'm writing chapter five at the moment so it won't be long until I update the story again. I'm on a roll! =D

WARNING: Remember that this is a yaoi story. Don't read it if you don't like it. If you read it anyway... Don't blame me.

Disclaimer: Me not own shit. Me own Sarashe, Hinode and other minor things. Enjoy!

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><p>Chapter 3 – I do, I don't.<p>

Hakkai's diary entry 5

_March 18_

_I'd never thought this would happen. It's actually been quiet… Goku's quiet, Sanzo's quiet. Even Gojyo's quiet! It's never been quiet in the jeep before. It's almost a little tense. We're resting right now. Sanzo hasn't spoken a word since we left. Goku just started talking and now he's fighting with Gojyo as usual. I guess I should have seen that coming. We didn't eat any breakfast after all. I'm the stand in leader right now. Sanzo's usually the leader, but… Well, he's not capable of leading us at the moment. He doesn't even know where we're going. I haven't told him. We're on our way to a town. It's called Hinode, which means sunrise. I've heard of a man there who can cure any sort of memory loss. I hope that's true. Sooner or later we have to face Sarashe again. We still don't know what he wants yet, but I guess we'll find out somehow. Oh, it's time to go. I'll write more later._

* * *

><p>Hakkai's POV<p>

"…Find out somehow…" I wrote in my diary, but got interrupted when I heard a terrified scream. I looked up to see Gojyo trying to get close to Sanzo. I looked at Goku.

"What's going on?" I asked. Goku looked at me.

"Gojyo grabbed Sanzo's arm and demanded to know why he wouldn't speak to him. Sanzo screamed and quickly moved away. Now Gojyo's pissed." He answered and turned back to look at them again. Sanzo ducked under Gojyo's arm and ran away. Gojyo hissed and looked after him. He then walked over to where Goku and I sat.

"Seriously! Why is he so afraid of me? He's even speaking to the monkey!" He complained. Goku shrugged. I sighed.

"It's probably because of something he hasn't told us yet. I'll go get him." I said and ran after Sanzo. What if demons attacked him? I couldn't see him anywhere. Where in the world did he run off to? I stopped to listen. I could hear someone breathe, and close too.

"Sanzo?" I said. I heard something move from above me. I looked up and spotted the blonde in the oak in front of me. He was sitting on a branch with his knees to his chin. He hadn't noticed me yet.

"Sanzo." I said and waved a little. I caught his attention and he looked down at me. I smiled.

"Jump down and I'll catch you." I said. He nodded quietly and slid off the branch. I caught him just as I promised. The fact that he really did jump proved that he trusted me. I sat him down on the ground and then sat down myself.

"Why are you so afraid of Gojyo?" I asked. He didn't answer. I put an arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer to me. He let me do it.

"I…" He said reluctantly. I smiled at him and told him to go on.

"He just reminds me of a man…" He said and looked down on his own hands, which was lying in his lap.

"Who is this man?" I asked and took his right hand in my left hand. He continued to quietly stare down on his right hand for a while until he spoke again.

"He had the same hair colour and the same smile as Gojyo. I think… we were friends…"

"Think?" I said confused. He nodded.

"Yes. I don't really remember. I blacked out somewhere… I showed him my robes. He recognized them I could see it in his eyes. He was about to say something when…" His gaze became very distant. I waved a hand in front of his eyes. No reaction.

"Sanzo?" This made him snap out of it.

"I'm sorry… I just…" He said and shook his head. I told him it was okay.

"Oh… yes, I was telling you about him… Uhm… He was about to say something when he suddenly choked on his own words. He spat out blood. Right in my face. He fell backwards. Another man was standing behind him, with a sword in his hands… He severed… my friend's head… held it… in front of me… Said it was my fault he had to die… Couldn't see his face… Blood… Everywhere… So much blood!" I could see he was starting to panic and quickly took him in my arms.

"Sch, it's okay. It's okay. No one's dead. There's no blood here. Just you and me." I said. He calmed down.

"I'm sorry… I just can't look at Gojyo. It reminds me of what happened… and what could happen again. Before the… killer… left, he said he would do it again if he had to…" I nodded.

"I see. Thanks for telling me, Sanzo, but you're making Gojyo sad. He's not going to die easily. Try to spend some time with him." I said. Sanzo looked at me and nodded lightly. Good.

* * *

><p>Gojyo's POV<p>

"Where are they?" Goku said for the seventh time. I sighed. It was beginning to annoy me.

"How the hell should I know you stupid monkey?" I yelled at him. He glared at me and was about to say something back when his face lit up.

"Hey! They're back!" He said. I spun around and sighed. What took Hakkai so long?

"That took some time." I said and raised an eyebrow. Hakkai laughed and went to finish writing his diary entry. Sanzo was looking down on his feet. I sighed. He wasn't going to talk to me anytime soon. I had gotten that message. I just scared him for some reason. Suddenly the monk looked up and straight into my eyes. He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again. His voice seemed to have failed him. I smiled.

"It's okay Sanzo. Just say it later." I said and gave him a pat on the back. He flinched, but he didn't move away this time. It made me a little surprised. Whatever Hakkai had said to him it had worked. We went back to the jeep and sat down. I was watching Sanzo as Hakkai started the engines again. I wanted to cut his hair. I didn't like it when his hair was long. I just… didn't like the picture for some reason. It reminded me of something, but I just couldn't remember what it reminded me of. It was confusing. I put a hand on his shoulder and he almost fell out of the car. I guess I should have said something first. He looked at me with scared eyes for a moment before he seemed to call down.

"Sorry buddy." I said. "I'm just wondering if you'd let me cut that hair of yours later." I said. He kept looking at me for a while before nodding.

"Okay. I'll let you do it." He said and turned forward to face the road again. I blinked with surprise. He had both spoken and accepted the offer. I'll be damned. Goku looked at me.

"Why would you want to cut his hair?" He asked me. I sighed. Kid and their why!

"Because I like him better with short hair." I answered. Goku grinned.

"Do you have a crush on him?" He asked.

"Yes, I have a… Hey! I do not have a crush on him!" I said and glared at him. Goku laughed.

"Gojyo has a crush on Sanzo!" He sang. I hit him and glanced at Sanzo. He was blushing. Don't blush! God damn it! This was going to be one long journey.

* * *

><p>Hakkai's POV<p>

Goku was at it again. He always found new ways of teasing Gojyo. I could see that Sanzo was blushing. Poor thing must be embarrassed. He probably wasn't used to that kind of affection. Suddenly he turned around to face Gojyo.

"Oh, Gojyo, I didn't know of your feelings. If you had told me…" he said in a seductive way and pulled down his robes a little. Gojyo fainted. Goku and Sanzo made a high five. So Sanzo had joined in the teasing huh?

"You're a good actor." I said when Sanzo faced the road again. He was laughing.

"Thank you. I worked in a theatre for a little while. I had to quit after a month though." He said with a little smile.

"Why?" I asked. I could see how Goku was poking Gojyo in the corner of my eye.

"The place burned down to the ground. One of the lamps fell down and set fire to the draperies." Sanzo said with a sigh.

"I'm sorry to hear that." I said and it became quiet. I stole glances of Sanzo every now and then. I liked how the sun almost made his pale skin glow. It was hypnotizing. His chin was resting in his left hand. His finger tips almost touched his lips. I wondered how it would feel to kiss him. Not that I wanted to do it, not at all. I was just a bit curious. Would they be soft? Would it feel good? I also wondered how he would react if I really did kiss him. Would he be angry? Scared?

"Hakkai! Look at the road!" Goku screamed. I quickly looked forward, but too late. We drove off the road. The jeep quickly turned back into Hakuryu. I could hear both Goku and Sanzo fall with a surprised scream. We fell into water. It must have woken Gojyo up because I could hear him swearing. I swam back to the shore. Goku was right behind me. I turned around to help Sanzo out of the water. He was soaking wet, but I guess I was too. It would be nice to see him wet in other ways too… I thought for a second. I shook my head. What in the world was I thinking? I was starting to sound like a horny Gojyo. Said redhead was looking at me with a strange smile. I did not like that smile. He flung an arm around my shoulders and dragged me to the side.

"You like him, don't you?" He asked with a smirk. I stared at him.

"I… I don't know what you're talking about!" I stuttered. Gojyo laughed.

"You know perfectly well what I'm talking about. You have fallen for the little monk and you have fallen hard bro." He said. I blushed, but shook off his arm.

"I have not! I can't fall for him! I promised myself not to fall for anyone again after my Ka…" Gojyo interrupted me by spinning me around. We were now looking at Sanzo. He was taking his dripping robes off. I blushed harder.

"But you want him, don't you? I suspect he's a virgin too. He's just waiting for you to take him. He's waiting for you to make him go crazy, to make him moan your name." Gojyo said with a low voice.

"That's nonsense. I don't want him. I…" I began, but Gojyo interrupted me again.

"But your body wants him." He said. I looked at him.

"What makes you say that?" Gojyo just raised an eyebrow.

"Dude, look down on your pants. There's a tower of Babylon in there and it wants out." I blushed again. Damn Gojyo and his sharp eyes.

"Gojyo, he's a monk. He can't have a relationship like that." I protested. The redhead just smiled.

"But he's also a human and humans need things like that." He said and left me standing there. Maybe I really did want Sanzo?

* * *

><p>I watched as Gojyo finished cutting Sanzo's hair. He looked like his old self again. When we had gotten back to the road we had started to look for Hakuryu, but we didn't see him anywhere. He had disappeared. We had walked for about fifteen minutes when we had reached an inn. We had chosen to stay the night. We were currently in Goku and Gojyo's room. Goku was already sleeping. Sanzo gave Gojyo a smile and thanked him for cutting his hair. Gojyo just smiled back. I left the room together with the blonde. I took him by the hand and led him back to our room. It was just down the corridor. I closed and locked the door behind us. We had a tendency of being attacked at night. Sanzo was already sitting on his bed when I turned around. We had borrowed some clothes from the woman who owned the inn. She had told us we could keep them if we wanted. I guessed it was her husband's clothes. Sanzo wore a white tunic and a pair of black loose pants. It wasn't really his style and the clothes were way too big on him. He had to wear a belt to keep the pants from falling off. I thought he looked cute anyway. I noticed that the sleeves were too long for him too. I couldn't even see his hand. I laughed and sat down beside him.<p>

"Those clothes really are too big." I said with a smile. Sanzo blushed.

"I know. Why aren't your clothes too big?" he asked and looked at me.

"Well, I think the landlady said that the clothes Gojyo, Goku and I got were her son's and that your clothes belonged to someone else." I said thoughtfully. Sanzo sighed. I looked at him. He was so beautiful. I couldn't stop myself. I leaned forward and caught his lips in a kiss. He tasted vanilla, probably because of the tea he drank before. His lips were really soft against mine. It was just as I imagined it. I could see him close his eyes and a light blush painted his cheeks. I could feel him kiss back, a bit shyly. I moved from his lips to his neck.

"Hakkai, wait. I…" He stopped. I froze with my lips against his pale skin. I reluctantly withdrew to look at him. He was staring into nothing.

"Sanzo?" I said patted him on the cheek. He didn't react. What happened? He moved his lips, but I couldn't hear anything. He moved his lips in the same way over and over again. I looked at the movements carefully and realized that they were forming the word: no. Was he having a flashback? He suddenly gasped and looked around until he met my eyes.

"What did you see?" I asked him. He stared at me for a while and then averted his gaze with a blush. Why did he…? Right, we kissed. That's why.

"A Face." He answered. A face?

"What did it look like?" I asked and gently took his hands in mine.

"It was a man. He had silver hair, a wicked smile and the most evil deep blue eyes." He closed his eyes for a moment and opened them again. I stared at him. It sounded like Sarashe.

"Did you see anything behind this man?"

"I don't remember." He answered me and looked me in the eyes.

"Why are you asking? Who is this man?" He asked.

"Don't worry about it." I said and kissed his forehead, which made him blush again.

"Just go to sleep."

* * *

><p>Hakkai's diary entry 6<p>

_March 18 evening_

_Sanzo's sleeping now. He's so cute when he's embarrassed. He has the cutest blush and kissing him was wonderful. I would like to do that again. I sound like a teenage girl. Sanzo had his first flashback today. Apparently he saw Sarashe's face. I wonder what this could mean. Why remember Sarashe first? I spoke with Gojyo about it, but he just shrugged it off and went to bed. That's so typical of him. I wonder if Sanzo will have more flashbacks like these. Maybe he will start remember for real soon. Will he remember what's happened before he recovered his memories? If he did, would he shoot at me? He probably would. What if we did… more intimate things? He would probably kill me for that. What to do? What to do? I'll deal with it later. Time to sleep._


	5. Ch four: Labyrinth of desires

**CHAPTER 4! Wow, time sure goes fast! You may or may not like this chapter, but it's necessary for the story so deal with it. I promised my friend something that has a little with Gojyo to do. It's... in this chapter. Why, Kana-san? Why? I don't mind though. XD It will be more boyish love in this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: Me no own shit. Me own Sarashe, Hinode, Shay and other minor things.**

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><p>Chapter 4 – Labyrinth of desires<p>

Hakkai's diary entry 7

_March 22_

_Nothing special has happened these past four days. No demons. No arguing. We still haven't found Hakuryu and I'm worried about him. Gojyo says not to worry about him. How could I not? I haven't kissed Sanzo again either, but I want to. Now he just blushes every time I touch him. I guess that is to be expected. He is quite shy. It makes him really adorable. Our journey has gone well… until now. We are faced with a labyrinth. There seems to be no way around which is pretty suspicious. It should end somewhere, but we just seem to come back to the beginning again. I wonder if we really should go through the labyrinth. It seems like a bad idea. Goku is all for it. He says it could be fun. I'm not so sure about that._

* * *

><p>Hakkai's POV<p>

"Are you sure Sanzo?" I asked. Sanzo just nodded.

"It feels like we should go through this labyrinth, as if we were destined to." He said and closed his eyes. The sudden gust of wind ruffled his hair. It felt cool against my skin. I took the chance to touch his face when Goku and Gojyo started arguing over something. Sanzo opened his eyes and blushed. I smiled at him and retracted my hand.

"Okay! Let's go through the labyrinth!" I said and we all entered the green maze. Something weird happened at that moment. Sanzo made a surprised sound as a green wall separated him from us. I turned around to tell Goku and Gojyo to be on their guard when I noticed the same thing happening to them. We were now all separated.

"Guys, are you okay?" I yelled. I got three yes back. I sighed with relief.

"We'll see each other on the way out!" I began walking and I walked fast. I wanted to find Sanzo. He wouldn't be able to defend himself if he were attacked. The path I followed lead me to a big open space. I could see a woman. Her hair was green and fell around her face like a frame. Her eyes were big and violet. There was this innocent look in them. She was dressed in a long white dress and a pair of golden wings stuck out of her back. I could only stare at her. Then she spoke. Her voice was light, but held traces of lust in it.

"What is it that you seek?" She asked me and took a step towards me. I didn't move. I simply stood there and stared at her.

"What do you mean? Who are you?" I asked. She smiled at me.

"Who I am is of no importance, but you can call me Shay. I am the fairy of desires. You have entered my maze and are therefore granted a wish, whatever your heart may desire." She said and bowed her head. Whatever my heart desired? It desired… a very special blonde monk, but I couldn't wish for Sanzo, could I?

"Why do you grant wishes?" I asked. She smiled once more and sat down on a white throne I hadn't seen before. I wonder why?

"I am the fairy of desires. I am bound to this maze by a spell and that spell can only be broken if I grant a wish to one thousand men." I nodded. That sounded like a good enough reason to me and why not help out? What should I wish for?

"I wish. I wish for Sanzo to never get hurt again." I said. Shay's smile faded and was replaced with a saddened expression.

"That, my love, is a wish I cannot grant. However, I can grant him a shield that will protect him three times. Is that your wish?" I thought about it for a second. Three times was better than none.

"Yes, that is my wish." The fairy nodded and disappeared.

"As you wish…" I heard from somewhere, but Shay was gone.

* * *

><p>Goku's POV<p>

"I get a wish?" I said happily and sat down on the ground. The weird woman smiled at me from where she sat on a white throne.

"Yes, my friend, but only one wish. Think about what you want carefully." She said and I nodded. I could always wish for food. I was hungry after all, but it seemed like a waste. Gojyo would probably ask something perverted. Sanzo would probably ask aout his memories, but I had no idea what Hakkai would ask for. Health? No. I could think about that later.

"What to wish? What to wish?" I mumbled. Maybe I should wish for food after all? No!

"I wish that Sanzo gets his memories back!" I said and smiled. Nice wish. The woman shook her head.

"That is a wish I cannot grant you." She said. I stared at her.

"Why?" I asked. She smiled a little.

"For me to be able to grant that wish, the rightful owner of these memories must wish for it too." She explained. I sighed. So it was no good? That's too bad.

"I wish for a really big meal." I finally said. Soon the whole ground was covered with plates with food upon. It watered in my mouth. This was too good to be true.

"As you wish." I heard the woman say, but didn't really register her disappearing. Didn't really care either. I had food!

* * *

><p>Gojyo's POV<p>

Okay. This day just got weird. Here was a really fine looking woman that told me she was the fairy of desires. She said I could get a wish, whatever my heart may desire and just expects me to treat it like a normal thing. I-m-p-o-s-s-i-b-l-e. Why in the world would she grant people's wishes and more importantly, what should I wish for? I could get girls anyway, but there was something I couldn't get. Something I wanted to try out, to taste. I wanted to taste a forbidden fruit. Something really forbidden, like Buddha-forbidden! I wanted to taste all our favourite monk, Genjo Sanzo. Should I wish for it? Hell yeah!

"I wish to do have a willing Genjo Sanzo in my arms." I said. The fairy shook her head.

"That is a wish I cannot grant." She said. Oh, the disappointment!

"But I can grant you an identical clone you can have alone for five minutes." She said. Was I that desperate? Yes, I was.

"Sure, why not?" I said and shrugged.

"As you wish." She said and disappeared. Suddenly I felt a pair of arms sneak their way around my chest. I gripped both wrists of those arms and turned around. I was immediately met by a pair of blue eyes, Sanzo's eyes. I knew he was beautiful up close. I just knew it! He smiled at me and all my blood went down **there. **Damn it! Why did his smile have this affect on me? I leaned in and stole a kiss from his lips. He kissed back. I let my hand slip under his robes to pull them off. He even helped me with it and opened his mouth. I let my tongue slip inside that hot cavern of his. My hand now made their way in beneath Sanzo's black shirt and started to play with his nipples. He moaned into the kiss and I smiled. Sanzo had a really sexy voice. I carefully laid him down on the ground without breaking the kiss. I started working on his pants. He broke the kiss and I kissed his jaw.

"Say my name Sanzo." I said. He smiled at me.

"Gojyo." He moaned and my erection became painfully hard. That was the sexiest thing I've ever heard. Suddenly he turned in to smoke and disappeared. Had it already been five minutes? Had he really just disappeared and left me in **this **state? It couldn't be serious?

"Aw, come on!"

* * *

><p>Sanzo's POV<p>

"Anything my heart desires?" I whispered. Shay nodded. Anything my heart desired. I already knew what I would ask, but I hesitated. Did I really want to know? Of course I wanted, but what if I didn't like it? What if I regretted this? Shay watched me with a curious expression.

"You are the last man I have to grant a wish. After that I'm free. I am truly grateful for your presence." She said. I smiled at her.

"I'm glad I could be any help." I said and thought about my wish again. Yes, I knew what I wanted and I was going to ask for it.

"I wish to know how I was before I lost my memories." I said. Shay nodded and a mirror grew from the ground.

"As you wish. Simply look into the mirror and you will see, hear and talk to your old self." She said before she disappeared. I reluctantly took a step forward to look into the mirror. I saw myself, but with a cigarette in my mouth. My old self was glaring back at me and it made me feel uncomfortable.

"What the **hell**?" He suddenly said. I flinched. Shay did say that I could talk to my old self I just didn't expect it to really talk to me.

"Uhm…" I said, but my old self interrupted me.

"What the hell has happened to me? Am I a scared little bitch now? Oh great. Am I going to cry now? Stop looking like that! Goddamn it!" My old self said and pointed accusingly at me.

"Stop being so goddamn weak! You are embarrassing yourself! Me! You! **US**!" He said. I backed away from the mirror and it turned to dust. That… was my old self?

* * *

><p>Hakkai's POV<p>

I had gotten to the end of the labyrinth without any problems and were now waiting for the others. The first one to arrive was Goku. He looked really happy.

"I guess you wished for something too." I said with a smile. Goku smiled.

"Hell yeah! I wished for food and got a whole feast! What did you wish for Hakkai?" He said and looked at me curiously.

"I wished for Sanzo to be safe. He is now shielded from three attacks." I said. Goku smiled.

"That's a great wish! Why didn't I think of that?"

"Because you're a monkey." It was Gojyo who said it. He was just walking out of the labyrinth. Goku glared at him.

"I am not a monkey! What did you wish for stupid kappa?" He asked. Gojyo glared at him and then quickly looked away.

"I wished for… a woman." He said. I wondered what that pause was for. Goku grinned.

"You pervert!" He said and laughed as he dodged Gojyo's fist. I shook my head and saw a movement out in the corner of my eye. Sanzo had arrived and he did not look happy. I gave him a questioning look, but he shook his head. Suddenly I heard a small "kyuu" from behind and spun around.

"Hakuryu! Where have you been?" I asked and hugged the little dragon tightly. I never thought I'd see him again.

* * *

><p>"We will reach Hinode tomorrow." I said. Sanzo looked at me.<p>

"Hinode? What are we going to do there?" He asked me. I smiled at him.

"There is a man there who can fix any kind of memory loss." I explained to him and took his hands in mine. He averted his gaze and retracted his hands.

"I-I don't want to remember." He said. I stared at him. He didn't want to remember? Why?

"Why?" I asked. I didn't understand.

"In the labyrinth… I wished to know how my old self was. I don't like him at all." He said and shook his head. I sighed. Oh, great. This wasn't going as planned.

"It's okay if you don't like him, but wouldn't it be nice to remember anything?" I tried. Sanzo hesitated for a moment.

"I guess…" He said. I smiled at him and hugged him. Gojyo and Goku were out looking for fire wood. Hakuryu was napping in the nearest tree. It was quiet for a while. The only thing I could hear was Sanzo's breathing and my own heartbeat. I looked Sanzo in the eyes.

"Can I kiss you?" I asked. His eyes widened with surprise. He quickly averted his gaze and blushed. That was cute, I thought to myself. He nodded slightly embarrassed from being asked. I smiled and stole his lips in a sweet kiss. He kissed back. I put my arms around his waist and pulled him closer. He put his arms around my neck. I licked his lower lip and he opened his mouth a little to let my tongue slip inside. I took my time exploring his mouth and even drew forth a light moan from him. It made me smile and him blush. He broke the kiss to gasp for air. A small string of saliva hang between us. I didn't let him rest for too long. I captured his mouth again just a few seconds later. I felt his hands in my hair. It felt nice. I let my hands wander down his back until I cupped his ass. He jumped and broke the kiss with a surprised gasp. I quickly let go of him.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have." I apologized. I went a little too far. He shook his head.

"No, don't apologize." He said and looked away. I could clearly see that he was embarrassed. I smiled and patted his head.

"I went a little too far." I said and then looked at the fire we had made. We didn't have enough fuel to make it last the whole night and that's why Gojyo and Goku were out looking for more. They came back just a couple of minutes later.

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><p>Hakkai's diary entry 8<p>

_March 22 evening_

_Today has been a really eventful day. We've gone through a maze where we got our wishes granted. We found Hakuryu and I have kissed Sanzo again. I can't believe I actually touched his ass. The face he made when I did it… It made me realize that I went a little too far. Sanzo's not used to being with males. He's not even used to being with women. Everyone's asleep right now. We reach Hinode tomorrow. I just hope this man I've heard of can fix Sanzo's memories. What if he can't? No, that wouldn't happen. Just to talk about something else, I secretly kept the clothes we wore at the inn. It's in my backpack. It could come in handy later. I really liked seeing Sanzo in those clothes, maybe because I could see his long white neck and a bit of his shoulders. Goodnight for now. I'll be sleeping well tonight._

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><p><strong>How did you like it? Please review and tell me!<strong>


	6. Ch five: Way too painful

**THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO DARKANGELJUDAS! THANK YOU FOR ALWAYS REVIEWING!**

**Yeah, we are starting to get further into the story. I'm battling with the end of the story. (No it's not over yet. I'm just thinking about how it should end.) I have like three different scenarios and I can't choose! What to do? ARGH!**

**Disclaimer: Me no own shit. Me own Sarashe, Hinode, Toshirou and other minor things.**

**WARNING: Remember that this is a YAOI? If you don't like it, then don't read it. Simple as that.**

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><p>Chapter 5 – Way too painful<p>

Hakkai's diary entry 9

_March 23_

_We got to Hinode faster than expected. We've already found an inn too. Sanzo's been acting weird this past hour. He seems nervous and can't seem to sit still. He's pacing back and forth. I guess that is to be expected. He could get his memories back today. I guess I'm a bit nervous too. I don't know where Gojyo is, but I know that Goku is getting us some supplies at the moment. When I think about getting the old Sanzo back I just feel sad. Will I ever see such a innocent smile on his lips or hear him laugh like that again? I don't think so and that's why I'm sad, but it will be good to have a Sanzo with all memories back. I will probably never kiss him again either. It will be hard not to touch him. Then there's the problem with Sarashe. We don't really know what he's capable of yet. We've only met him once. Goku's back. Time to go look after Gojyo. He's probably picking up ladies at a bar as usual. I wouldn't surprise me at all._

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><p>Hakkai's POV<p>

"So you're saying that Gojyo actually said no to a pretty woman?" I asked. I'll be damned. I never thought I'd hear something like that. Goku nodded.

"Yeah! I saw him do it with my own eyes!" He said and put down the grocery bag. I laughed.

"That is pretty weird. Did you ask the townspeople about the man we're looking for?" I asked and grabbed Sanzo's arm to make him stop pacing. Goku nodded again.

"Yes, his name is Toshirou. He lives in the big house right beside the temple." He said. I smiled.

"Good work, Goku. Would you mind bringing Gojyo back here while I take Sanzo to Toshirou?" He didn't even answer. He just set off. I laughed and turned my attention towards Sanzo.

"Take off your robes and give me the scripture." I said. He looked surprised.

"Why?" He asked me, but did as he was told.

"We can't let anyone know you're Sanzo, especially not a guy that's supposed to fix your memories. Not yet at least." No, what if this man destroyed him even more? My thoughts went back to what Gojyo and I heard him say in his sleep. He was begging for help. It made me wonder what happened to him. What would make the tall and pride Sanzo beg for us to come and save him? I couldn't think of anything. I watched him put the white robes on his bed. He was now only wearing his black shirt with matching sleeves and his pair of jeans. He looks great that way, but he's probably not aware of it.

"Let's go Sanzo." I took his hand in mine and kissed his knuckles. He blushed. So cute.

"O… Okay Hakkai." He mumbled and we left the inn.

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><p>"So this is Toshirou's house? It's really big." I said. To say that the house was big was an understatement. The house was huge! We couldn't even see where the house ended.<p>

"That is one big building…" Sanzo said. He looked amazed. I smiled at him and took his hand.

"Shall we see if anyone's home?" I asked him and he nodded. We walked to the front door and knocked. It was awfully quiet for a couple of minutes. I began to wonder if we should leave when the door opened. We were greeted with the sight of an old man with banana shaped glasses. It looked really funny.

"What's your business here?" The man asked. He had a deep voice.

"We are looking for Toshirou-sama. My friend here has lost a great deal of memories." I explained. The man turned his gaze towards Sanzo. He looked really uncomfortable. I gently squeezed his hand.

"You're in luck. I'm in at the moment. Please come in." He stepped aside. So this was Toshirou? I walked inside together with Sanzo. Toshirou lead us to a room with grey walls and a single chair in the middle.

"Please sit down." He said and motioned for Sanzo to sit. The blonde hesitated for a moment before he sat down.

"How much have you forgotten?" Toshirou asked him.

"I actually only have two years worth of memories." Sanzo answered him. Toshirou looked surprised for a moment.

"Really? That's interesting. Close your eyes. You might get blind if you don't and you…" He pointed at me. "…might want to hold him down. Getting memories back can be painful. They don't disappear for nothing." I nodded and gently put my hands on Sanzo's shoulders. I could feel his tense muscles relax beneath my fingers. He closed his eyes. Toshirou put his fingers on Sanzo's forehead so that his palm was hovering over his eyes.

"This will hurt." He warned. Sanzo didn't answer. Toshirou closed his eyes and his hand started to glow. At first nothing happened, but soon I could feel Sanzo tense up again.

"Tell me how he reacts. Is he tense?" Toshirou asked without opening his eyes. I nodded, but realized that he couldn't see it.

"Yes. He's tense." I answered him.

"You might want to tighten your grip a little." He said. I looked at him with a raised eyebrow and did as I was told. Sanzo moved a little and whined. I felt a little sorry for him. Suddenly he threw himself forward and screamed. I almost forgot to keep him in the same place. I tightened my hold on his shoulders and pulled him back in the starting position. Sanzo desperately tried to get out of my grip. Toshirou frowned.

"What is this?" He suddenly gasped and opened his eyes. His hand stopped glowing and Sanzo stopped moving. I looked at Toshirou. I felt worried. What happened? Why did the old man look so shocked?

"What happened?" I asked, still gripping Sanzo's shoulders tight. Toshirou shook his head.

"Who is this man?" He asked me. Should I tell him or not?

"He's a Sanzo priest." I said reluctantly. The old man stared at me for a couple of seconds and sighed.

"It makes sense. This man sealed his own memories away. I couldn't get through his barrier."

I ended up carrying Sanzo back to the inn. He was conscious, but the try to bring back his memories had made him momentarily lose control over his body, so I gave him a piggyback ride. He was quiet, awfully quiet, but I knew he was awake.

"Okay, we're back now." I said and began walking to the stairs to get to our room.

"Put me down here…" Sanzo said lightly. I hesitated for a moment before I did what he asked of me. He wobbled for a moment before he regained his balance.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked him. He nodded and slowly began walking up the stairs. I watched him until he disappeared around the corner. I felt an arm around my shoulders.

"So… How did it go?" Gojyo asked me. I sighed.

"Well, not to good I'm afraid, but we got a clue. Sanzo sealed his memories away." I looked at Gojyo. He looked thoughtful.

"Why would he do that?" He asked. I knew he would ask it.

"I don't know. Maybe to protect himself?" I said. Gojyo nodded and we didn't say anything else as Goku entered the room with a meat bun in his hand.

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><p>Normal POV (Kind of Sanzo's ^^'')<p>

He thanked the gods that Hakkai hadn't noticed how bad he really felt. He was sweating, but at the same time he was freezing. He sat on his bed in the room he and Hakkai shared. His head felt as if it was about to explode. Pictures flashed before his eyes. It was always the same pictures. There were three of them. The first one was in the jeep. He could see his own hand with the banishing gun in it. He was pointing it towards Goku and Gojyo who were wrestling with each other. Hakkai just sat beside him with a smile on his face. The second picture was of demons that came running towards him. Hakkai and Gojyo were beside him, attacking the demons. The third and last picture was a dark room. He could see blood on the walls and that face again. The man with the silver hair was above him. He had a wicked smile on his face. Those three pictures were repeatedly showed up in his head now. He couldn't stop them. He could see them even when he closed his eyes. He pulled up his knees to his chest and clutched his head.

"Stop! Leave me alone!" He yelled, but the pictures just started flashing faster. He moaned and bit his lip, hard enough to draw blood. He didn't need this. Not now. He was already feeling like crap after the failed attempt to regain his memories. He didn't need these pictures now. It hurt so much. He didn't know how to make it stop. He just wanted the torture to end. The door opened and Hakkai came into the room. When he saw the state Sanzo was in he froze. Sanzo wanted to ask for help, but his voice wouldn't let him. Fortunately Hakkai was smart enough to understand that he couldn't leave Sanzo like that. He quickly walked over to him to take him in his arms. He couldn't help but gasp when he felt how hot the monk's skin was. It was almost burning him, but he didn't let go.

"It's okay Sanzo. Relax and it will go away." Hakkai said and rocked him soothingly. Sanzo did try to relax, he really did, but the pain was making it hard. The pictures suddenly stopped showing themselves and only one picture remained in his mind; the picture with the silver haired man. Who was he and why didn't Hakkai want to tell him?

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><p>Hakkai's POV<p>

I had trouble sleeping. I couldn't stop thinking about Sanzo. I was worried and still shocked from when I found him before. He had looked as if he was in pain. I just couldn't forge his eyes, asking for help. I rolled over onto my left side to watch Sanzo. He was sleeping. I listened to him breathing for a while. I really did love him and it pained me to see him suffer. I just wanted him to keep on smiling. I sighed and finally gave up on sleeping. I wasn't even tired and I had yet to write in my diary. I picked up the pencil when I suddenly heard something. It sounded like footsteps. Someone knocked on the door.

"Hakkai! Open! We have some visitors." He heard Gojyo's voice say. Another pair of footsteps. I guessed it was Goku since Gojyo didn't move. I got up and unlocked the door to let them inside. They sat down on my bed and I closed and locked the door again.

"Is it demons?" I asked them. Gojyo nodded.

"Yeah. It's quite a large number too." He said and all of us looked at Sanzo's sleeping form. We were whispering so that we didn't wake him.

"What do we do about Sanzo?" I asked the redheaded kappa.

"Let him sleep. We'll take care of all the demons before they reach the front door." Gojyo answered. Goku yawned and nodded.

"Yeah, we just have to make sure that no one gets inside." He said with a tired grin. I nodded. We could leave Sanzo alone for a couple of minutes. It couldn't hurt could it?

"Let's go then." I said and we left the room. If we had noticed the shadow by the window things would have gone better.

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><p>"How many more of them is there!" Gojyo yelled as he killed two more demons.<p>

"About fifty maybe!" I shouted back and kneed a demon in the groin. "Make that forty-nine!" Goku took out three more.

"Now there's only forty-six!" He laughed. My head wasn't really in the fight. I did kill and dodge, but it felt as if something wasn't right. Something kept bugging me.

"I'll take the last one!" Goku announced and killed them off. Gojyo was panting heavily. It had been a lot of demons. Way too many to just be a coincidence. Had someone sent them after us? I thought back to what Sanzo had told me a couple if days ago.

"_I… I've been feeling a bit weird… lately." He said and ate some more rice. I raised an eyebrow._

"_What do you mean by weird?" I asked. Sanzo looked around again._

"_Like… Someone's watching me." He said and looked into my eyes._

What if this was Sarashe's doing? What if he had heard that Sanzo was alive? I glanced at the inn. It looked completely normal.

"What is it Hakkai? Worried about Blondie?" Gojyo asked and grinned. I turned to look at him.

"Well, do you remember when you were out taking care of some demons?" I asked him. Gojyo nodded so I decided to continue.

"When I finally got Sanzo to come down and eat he told me that he felt as if someone was watching him." I said and looked at the inn again. Goku looked terrified.

"You don't think Sarashe knows he's alive?" He asked.

"I am afraid that could be the case." I answered him and we all started to run back to the inn.

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><p>Sanzo's POV<p>

Hakkai was gone when I woke up. I didn't think of it as strange. It had happened before. Sometimes he went to talk with Gojyo and sometimes he just couldn't sleep. So I decided to ignore it and go back to sleep. When I finally was about to fall asleep I heard footsteps. I assumed it was Hakkai who came back. Soon I could feel his fingers in my hair. It felt nice. Since the only one I knew who had done that to me was Hakkai I guessed it was probably him. His hands moved from my hair to caress my cheek. His fingers were warm against my skin. He leaned in closer, so close that I could feel his breath on my neck. I shuddered. Was that his tongue? Yes, his tongue definitely licked my neck. He found a sensitive spot and I gasped in surprise. He chuckled and placed kisses all over my neck.

"Hakkai, what are you…" He suddenly bit me, hard. I screamed and tried to shake him off me, but his teeth remained buried in my neck. They were way too sharp to be Hakkai's. I could smell blood, my own blood. The unknown person pinned me to the bed. I still couldn't see who it was, but to my relief he decided to withdraw his teeth from my neck. I could feel his tongue lick the place were he had bit me. I whimpered pathetically. He chuckled again and flipped me onto my back so that I could see his face. My eyes widened in horror. It was the man with silver hair. He smiled at me.

"Sanzo, my friend, how have you been?" He asked me.

"W-Who are you?" I stuttered. He looked surprised and then shook his head.

"Have you forgotten me? That's not a very nice thing to do. You are a very naughty child my dear. I might have to punish you for forgetting me." He smiled the whole time and it was creeping me out.

"How do you know me?" I asked him. He laughed.

"Let's just say that you should be very afraid right now." He whispered into my ear. I shuddered again. I was afraid. How could I not be?

"Who are you?" I asked again. He looked into my eyes.

"I'm Sarashe."

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><p><strong>DOMDOMDOMDOM!<strong>

A cliffanger! Muahahahaha! What will happen now?


	7. Ch six: Going out

**So... I don't really have anything to say...**

**Disclaimer: Me no own shit. Me own Sarashe.**

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><p>Chapter 6 – Going out<p>

What happened in the last chapter?

"Who are you?" I asked again. He looked into my eyes.

"I'm Sarashe."

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><p>Sanzo's POV<p>

Now I knew why my whole body told me to flee. My eyes widened in shock.

"No… You're..." I stuttered and tried to break free from his hold, but he just held me pinned down with ease.

"L-Let go of me…" I whispered. Sarashe smiled and gently brushed my hair out of my face. I didn't dare to move. His claws looked really sharp and I didn't want him to accidentally poke my eye out with them.

"Now… How should I punish you for forgetting me?" He whispered into my ear. I closed my eyes. I didn't dare to look at him.

"Open your eyes, Genjo Sanzo." He said calmly. I shook my head and stubbornly kept my eyes shut.

"I said to open them and I want you to do it **now.**" He said and the unspoken threat in his voice made me do as he said.

"Was it really that hard?" Sarashe asked and laughed at my confused expression.

"I guess it was…" He said to himself and laughed again. His laughter made me relax a little. He didn't sound that evil when he laughed.

"I am a funny man Sanzo, but I don't like to… lose… things." He said and that evil smirk was back on his lips again.

"You shouldn't have run away from me. Hey, I just thought of a great punishment! How about I kill Goku… no, Hakkai." He said slowly. Me eyes widened in horror as he said 'kill' and 'Hakkai' in the same sentence. I shook my head.

"No! No, please don't! I'll do anything!" I said and bit my lip. I was scared, but there was no way I would let Hakkai or the others die as a punishment for me. Sarashe laughed again and licked his lips. He looked at my neck as if he wanted to slice it open, but he didn't do anything.

"Well… How about a deal?"

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><p>Hakkai's POV<p>

I flung the door open and rushed into the room only to find Sanzo's sleeping form. I sighed with relief and sneaked over to his bed. He was breathing like normal and everything seemed to be normal. I smiled and kissed his cheek. He stirred in his sleep and his eyes fluttered open.

"Hakkai?" He asked sleepily and turned around to look at me. "Is it already morning?"

"No, you can sleep if you want to." I said and laughed a little. He smiled at me.

"Okay… Goodnight…" He said and fell asleep. Gojyo and Goku burst into the room. I shook my head and held a finger in front of my mouth. They nodded and silently left the room again. I was so relieved that Sanzo was safe. I was expecting a worst case scenario. That's when I noticed marks that looked a lot like bite marks in his neck. I carefully pulled down his shirt a little to look closer at it. Yes, it was definitely bite marks, freshly made too. The person who bit him must have had really sharp teeth. I got worried again. When had it happened? Probably when we were fighting outside. Did a demon sneak inside? Sanzo seemed to have been perfectly safe. I had to ask him about it later, in the morning. I placed another kiss on his cheek and went to bed. I had trouble sleeping. My thoughts went back to Sanzo's neck every time I tried to relax. It bothered me a lot. What had happened?

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><p>Sanzo's POV<p>

I sat up and quietly left the room. Hakkai was still asleep. I had lied to him last night. No, I hadn't, but it felt like I had done it. Sarashe had just left when Hakkai had come into the room. I had feigned sleep. I felt really bad about not telling him. There were soon to be more lies ahead. I bit my lip. I had made a deal with Sarashe. I couldn't say no to a deal like that. If I did… I didn't want to think about it. I could at least relax this week. He had been considerate enough to give me a week. How nice of him. My neck hurt really bad. It was all Sarashe's fault. He didn't have to bite me. I rubbed the place were the bite mark was.

"Ouch…" I mumbled to myself.

"Ouch what, princess?" I suddenly heard Gojyo's voice from behind. I spun around to find myself nose to nose with him. I backed away with a surprised scream.

"What a nice reaction." Gojyo said and smiled at me. I stared at him.

"G-G-Gojyo!" I stuttered and blushed. Had he just called me princess? Embarrassing…

"Yes, princess?" He said and noticed my hand. It was still resting on the bite mark on my neck. He looked me in the eyes.

"Does your neck hurt?" He asked me. I shook my head more than one time.

"N-no." I answered him and avoided his gaze.

"You're lying." He grabbed my hand and pried it away from my neck.

"My, that's a nasty bite. Who did this to you, princess?" He asked and traced the mark with a finger. I shuddered.

"Don't call me princess…" I mumbled. I couldn't answer his question. If I did they would now. They would now what I was planning.

"You're avoiding the question." Gojyo said and pinned me to a wall. I looked at him and forced myself to smile.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." My words made Gojyo frown.

"I'm talking about the bite mark on your neck. It seems to hurt." He said and let go of me.

"Oh? Is there something like that on my neck? I had no idea. Thank you for telling me Gojyo." I said and hurriedly left the corridor. I could feel Gojyo stare after me the whole time.

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><p>Hakkai's POV<p>

Sanzo was out with Goku, which left me with Gojyo. He was awfully quiet and seemed to be deep in thought. I watched him as he just sat on his chair and looked at nothing in particular.

"Hey… Hakkai?" He suddenly said and turned his gaze towards me.

"Hm?" I answered and motioned for him to continue.

"Did you see the bite marks on Sanzo's neck?" He asked. I looked at him. So he had noticed them too? I nodded slowly and sighed.

"Yes, I did. Have you asked him about it?" I asked and looked at one of the windows.

"I did. He was acting really strange." He answered and the room became quiet again. I didn't say anything. Sanzo **was** acting strange. Was he hiding something from us? If so, what? Had someone snuck into the inn without any of us noticing and done something to him? All I knew was that he didn't want us to know or he would have told us what was on his mind. Why would he hide something from us? The door flung open and Goku ran into the room. Sanzo was right behind him.

"I'm sorry Goku! I don't know what came over me!" He said. Goku smiled brightly towards both me and Gojyo.

"Has something good happened, Goku?" I asked and smiled myself. Goku nodded.

"Yeah, Sanzo called me a stupid monkey!" He said happily. I turned my gaze towards the blonde, so did Gojyo.

"I-I didn't mean to." Sanzo stuttered and looked away. This meant he had begun to get his memories back.

* * *

><p>"Your hair is really soft Sanzo." I said and continued brushing his hair. I had just felt like doing it, so I had asked Sanzo. I paused my movements to play with his hair. A light sigh left his lips. I smiled. I never knew that Sanzo liked others playing with his hair. He was really relaxed at the moment. I went from his hair and started massaging his shoulders. I felt him tense up for a moment before he relaxed again. I continued giving him massage. I enjoyed hearing the small noises he let out every now and then. I hugged him after a while. He turned his face towards me.<p>

"Thank you. It felt really nice." He said and gave me a quick kiss on the lips. It was the first time he kissed me and not the other way around. I smiled and laughed.

"I'll do it again, whenever you want." I told him and gently touched his face. I was unsure. Were we going out or not? Did you have to ask to really be going out? We kissed, isn't that enough to say that we were going out?

"Sanzo, would you say that we're going out?" I asked him. His eyes widened ever so slightly and he started to blush.

"Uhm… I guess." He said and looked away in embarrassment. I smiled.

"That means we're a couple, right?" I said and gently cupped his face and kissed him. He kissed me back with a light blush covering his cheeks.

"Yes." He said when we broke the kiss. Oh, I love life.

* * *

><p>I stole a glance of Sanzo. The bite mark on his neck had turned into a light purple shade. It still bothered me, but Sanzo didn't want to talk about it so I didn't ask. He was chopping vegetables together with the owner of the inn. It was an old lady. She seemed to have taken a liking to Sanzo, but who didn't? Now they were preparing the dinner together. They were talking and laughing. I couldn't hear what they said, but they seemed to be having fun. The old lady said something which made Sanzo blush. I raised an eyebrow. Sanzo's just too cute for his own safety. I mean seriously. Random people had started hitting on him when we had gone out shopping earlier that day. When we had come back to the inn none less than fourteen different people had tried to drag him away. Most of them had been guys too. I guess it makes pretty much sense since Sanzo has this aura that tells everybody that he's gay. I mean even when we had the old Sanzo guys would hit on him every now and then. It had been a little different back then though. Back then, if a guy would hit on Sanzo… Let's just say we had to stop him from going on a killing spree. I laughed at the memory. The old Sanzo seemed so distant. I could tell that Goku wanted the old Sanzo back. Gojyo and I weren't too eager. Gojyo liked Sanzo this way because the blonde never tried to kill him when he said something. I was just worried that he might begin to hate me if he regained his memories. I watched the blonde and the woman again. They were done chopping vegetables and proceeded preparing the meat and the rice. Goku would be happy later.<p>

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><p>Gojyo's POV<p>

"I don't like it. I don't like it one bit." Goku looked at me when he heard me talking.

"What is it that you don't like, Gojyo?" He asked me and ate some more rice.

"Just look at them! Look at them! Can't you see how close they are? Something is going on. I can feel it." I said. I wasn't looking at Goku. I was focusing my gaze on Sanzo and Hakkai. They were sitting closer than normal and every now and then their hands would touch the others ever so lightly.

"I have no idea what you're talking about Gojyo. They're just talking. They're friends. It's a normal thing to do." He said and stuffed his mouth full with rice and meat. I gave him an irritated look.

"No, there's something more to it. It's as if they're in their own little world. Maybe they're going out?" I said to myself. I could hear Goku choke on his food. He coughed and gasped for air.

"What? Sanzo is not going out with Hakkai. Nu-uh! Never! He… He just wouldn't!" He exclaimed. I glared at him.

"Shut up stupid monkey! Can't you see what's going on between them?" I asked him. Goku looked at me for a couple of seconds before he turned his gaze towards Hakkai and Sanzo. They were practically holding hands now. Hakkai was massaging the back of Sanzo's hand. They were even closer now. Their faces were just centimetres apart. Goku blushed and silently continued eating. I continued watching the others. When I told Hakkai to ask Sanzo out I never really thought the monk would say yes. I was just kidding with the guy, but apparently I had looked to serious. Damn me. Now Hakkai was dating the person I found unbearably sexy. I didn't like it. Not. At. All. I sighed and stood up.

"Thanks for the food. It was great." I said and left the table. No one really noticed me leaving. That really makes me feel appreciated.

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><p>Hakkai's diary entry 10<p>

_March 24_

_This day just keeps getting weirder and weirder. First Sanzo's acting strange. He has a bite mark on his neck, but doesn't want to talk about it. Then Gojyo starts acting strange. He's quiet and won't come out of his room. I don't know what the reason is, but I think something happened during lunch. Well, good things happened today too. Me and Sanzo now officially a couple. We haven't told anyone though… So… yeah. I don't want to embarrass Sanzo and since he told me to not tell anyone I guess I could keep it a secret. At least until he tells me it's okay to spread the word. I know we have our own rooms, but we thought it was nicer if we slept together tonight. That's why Sanzo's currently sitting beside me and waiting for me to finish writing. I think he looks really cute at the moment. I decided to wash his clothes today. That's why he's only wearing a really big t-shirt at the moment. It's big enough to reach down to his knees. He looks so adorable. He told me he thinks that it's embarrassing. I believe him. He has this cute blush on his face. Tomorrow we will head out again. Sanzo's requested that we travel towards the mountains. I guess we could do that. When I asked him why he just told me that the old lady told him there was a really nice place over there that he could show to the one he loves. I guess that's me. Hehe. I'm so unbelievably happy. Well, I'll write more tomorrow. Good night._

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><p><strong>Still don't have anything to say...<strong>


	8. Ch seven: Six days to disaster

OH MY GOD! I finally finished all my homework and necessary stuff. I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while, but I've been really busy. I'll try to update more often now. If you've read the other chapters you should know warningsand stuff. Don't have time to put them here anyway! ENJOY!

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><p>Chapter 7 – six days to disaster<p>

Hakkai's diary entry 11

_March 25_

_We've been travelling for a couple of hours now. Goku and Gojyo's at it as normal. I don't know what they're fighting about though. I wasn't really listening. Sanzo's half asleep. I can see how his eyelids seem to get heavier by the minute. He's been sleeping a lot today. I don't know why. Maybe he's just tired? That's probably it. I may be reading too much into it. I'm just worried about him. The bite mark on his neck is finally gone. He heals surprisingly fast. I can't remember that his injuries used to heal this fast before even if they were just scratches. It always took at least a week before they were completely gone. Somehow his healing has increased in speed, but how? I don't understand._

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><p>Hakkai's POV<p>

I glanced over at Sanzo again. His eyes were closed and he looked really peaceful. So he went back to sleep again, huh? I turned my gaze back to the road. Gojyo was smoking again. Goku was watching the scenery as we went by. It was really quiet at the moment. I sighed and pulled over.

"Let's take a break." I said to the guys in the back and stepped of the jeep. I carefully picked Sanzo up and carried him to a nearby tree. I placed him in the grass beneath it and sat down beside him. He hadn't woken up. I sighed and gently kissed his forehead before Gojyo and Goku could see us. Sanzo mumbled something and turned his head to the side. I smiled and gently brushed his hair out of his face.

"Hakkai? Is he still asleep?" Gojyo asked. I turned around to look at him. He was sitting on a stone, smoking. I nodded.

"Yes, he is." Goku left the jeep and walked over to where I sat with Sanzo. He looked at Sanzo with worry in his eyes and then turned his gaze towards me.

"Is he okay? He's not sick is he?" He asked me. I shook my head and gently pulled him down in a sitting position.

"No, I don't think he's sick." I answered him. It was the truth. I didn't think Sanzo was sick. Maybe the speeded healing made him exhausted and that's why he slept so much? I turned my gaze towards the blonde again.

"Goku, what would you do if Sanzo never turned back to normal?" It was a question I knew Goku didn't want to hear, but I really felt like asking it. He tensed.

"I… I would probably be depressed for a while, but… I'd be happy again after a while." He said and smiled towards me.

"Why?" I asked him. He looked down for a while and then at the sky.

"Because this is a part of Sanzo. This is one of his hidden personalities. At least that's what I think." He answered me. I nodded slowly. This personality was a part of Sanzo… Goku was probably right.

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><p>Goku's POV<p>

Hakkai had left with Gojyo. Apparently they had something to talk about. Well, I have my own thoughts. Last night I had seen something I think I wasn't supposed to see. I had seen Sanzo and Hakkai kiss. I mean like couples kiss. It almost looked as Hakkai was eating him and the noises Sanzo made thanks to him… It just made me blush. I looked at the blonde's sleeping face. He looked so peaceful. My eyes reluctantly went from his closed eyes to his lips. I wondered why Hakkai seemed to enjoy kissing Sanzo so much. I've seen adults do it all the time, but two men… That was the first time. I think Gojyo called it being homosexual. I had never kissed anyone before. I wanted to try it, but I would feel stupid if I asked someone if I could kiss them just to know what it felt like. I quickly looked around to make sure no one was watching before I leaned over him and gently pushed my lips against Sanzo's. The first thing I thought was that his lips were really soft. Like a couple of marshmallows. Sanzo moved a little and made me freeze. He mumbled something against my lips and stopped moving. I breathed out. That's when I noticed his mouth was still open. Hakkai's tongue… I had seen it slip into Sanzo's mouth. Was that some form of kissing too? I decided to try it out. I mimicked Hakkai's kiss from the night before. Sanzo had a light taste of vanilla and cherries. It was a nice taste. Gojyo had explained this to me once I think. He had said that you explore the other person's mouth with your tongue, so that's what I did. I quickly pulled away from Sanzo when I heard footsteps. I wiped my mouth and blushed lightly. I had kissed Sanzo. So that's what kissing was like? It would probably be even better if the person you kissed actually kissed back. I guess I took advantage of a sleeping person. Hakkai and Gojyo were back. Gojyo looked at me with a questioning look. I averted my gaze.

"What are you blushing for monkey?" He asked me with a grin. I didn't answer him.

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><p>Hakkai's POV<p>

Gojyo's words made me turn and look at Goku. He **was **blushing. I blinked in surprise before I smiled.

"Leave him alone Gojyo. He's a teenager. You know what happen to teenagers, right?" I said slowly. Gojyo stared at me.

"Right…" He mumbled and went back to the jeep. I laughed a little and turned my attention towards Sanzo. The conversation I had with Gojyo a couple of minutes ago made me a little worried.

~Flashback~

"_So what did you want to talk about Hakkai?" Gojyo asked me and lit a cigarette. I looked back to make sure that Goku hadn't followed us._

"_The bite mark on Sanzo's neck is already gone." I said and hoped Gojyo would think that it was weird too. Gojyo stared at me for a second._

"_Really? That was way too fast." He said and blew out a little smoke. I nodded._

"_I know. He's healing faster than a normal human being." I said and shook my head._

"_Maybe… He somehow got a little demon blood in his veins while we were separated?" He proposed._

~End flashback~

I really hoped Gojyo was wrong. If Sanzo got demon blood in his veins… It just didn't seem like a good idea. The blonde in front of me suddenly opened his eyes.

"Hakkai?" He said sleepily and sat up. I smiled at him.

"Good morning or should I say afternoon?" I said and hugged him. He yawned.

"Afternoon? How long have I been sleeping?" He asked. I laughed.

"For about one and a half hours."

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><p>We were on our way again. Gojyo had protested when I had sat down behind the steering wheel. He had told me that I looked way too tired to be driving the car and he had literarily dragged me to the back of the car and then placed Sanzo beside me. I didn't really mind. I was tired and I liked that I could spend some time with Sanzo without having to look in another direction when I talked to him. I pulled him down to sit in my lap and put a blanket over us. It was getting pretty cold outside. Goku had his own blanket, but Gojyo didn't seem to mind at the moment. Sanzo relaxed and leaned back on me. I smiled and hugged him tightly under the blanket. Goku started to snore. I laughed a little and so did Sanzo. It was kind of cosy in the back of the car. At least when you sat like we did. I thought about the day so far. I was a little suspicious. There had been no demons so far and it worried me a little. They should have been everywhere, but there was no sight of them. I looked at Gojyo through the rear-view mirror.<p>

"Wake us up if there's any problem." I told him. Gojyo simply nodded and continued driving. I let myself relax and soon found myself drifting off to sleep. The last thing I heard was Sanzo's soft voice saying my name.

When I woke up I found myself in a bed together with a certain blonde. Sanzo was still asleep though. I sat up and looked around.

"Finally up sleeping beauty?" I heard Gojyo say and turned around to look at him.

"How long have I been sleeping?" I asked.

"Three hours. We stopped in this small village. This is an inn. I seriously had to carry you two in here. You were out like two lights." He said with a cigarette between his lips. I smiled at him.

"I'm sorry for causing you so much trouble." I apologized.

"Nah, don't mention it. You haven't gotten that much sleep this past week have you?" He asked me. I shook my head.

"No." the room became quiet and I fixed my gaze on Sanzo's sleeping form. He suddenly opened his eyes and looked at me. I blinked in surprise.

"Hakkai? Who is Koumyou Sanzo?" He asked me. Did he remember the name of his late master? I bit my lip. Should I answer? Of course.

"He was your master. He died when you were still a kid." I told him. I still remembered what Sanzo had told me a while after we first met.

"My master? How? How did he die?" Sanzo asked me. Of course I should have seen that coming.

"He was killed by demons." I hoped he wouldn't ask for more details and I felt relief when he didn't. I didn't want him to remember any painful things yet. It was too soon. When he didn't ask anything else I turned towards Gojyo and got out of bed.

"What time is it?" I asked and suppressed a yawn.

"About seven pm." The redhead answered and lit a new cigarette. I nodded.

"Take care of Sanzo will you? I need to run an errand."

"Sure thing."

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><p>Gojyo's POV<p>

"Alright! You're in my care now princess, so don't go do anything stupid." I said and watched Sanzo blush cutely. I know he had told me to stop calling him princess, but it was too much fun.

"If someone does anything stupid it's your fault." He bit back. I whistled.

"Someone's learned to stand up for himself." I said and grinned. He ignored me and got out of bed.

"Say, Gojyo, did I smoke before?" He asked and watched me blow out some smoke.

"Yeah, you did. A lot." I told him. He looked at me for a while.

"It was… Marlboro, right?" He said.

"You're starting to remember." He nodded at my statement and quietly left the room. He wouldn't leave the inn. I knew that. Goku was down the stairs. The blonde and the monkey could probably entertain each other. The only thing I wanted was to get laid. It had been a really long time. The problem was not the women. No, there were a lot of women. The thing was… I didn't want them. Had I become homosexual? No, it wasn't possible! Me? Gojyo? No! I still appreciated women. I liked them a lot, but for some reason women that would usually turn me on didn't catch my interest. No woman at all, but I had been checking out Sanzo recently. Did that make me gay? No, a lot of men appreciated other men while being straight. The problem with that was that the most straight men didn't get hard while looking at their male friend. I guess I really was gay then?

"No freaking way!"

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><p>Goku's POV<p>

"Sanzo, you're awake." I said when I noticed him coming down the stairs. He smiled at me.

"Yes. Do you know what errand Hakkai had to run?" He asked me. I shook my head and told him to follow me outside. I had seen a really nice patch of flowers on our way inside and wanted to show it to him. I was sure he would be happy and I was right.

"Oh, they're beautiful!" He exclaimed and sat down beside them. Now when I could see the flowers up close I noticed it was lilies. I smiled at Sanzo's happy smile.

"Hey Sanzo… How much do you remember? What's the earliest memory you have?" I asked him. I wanted to know. He looked at me and then seemed to think for a while.

"I think it's when my master offered me a drink." He answered me. So he remembered his master a little? Maybe he would remember how he met me soon? The thought made me smile happily. Sanzo smiled too and gently touched one of the lilies. We talked a little more and I found out what he remembered. He remembered parts of his time with Koumyou Sanzo. He remembered Kougaiji's first appearance, that he used to smoke Marlboro and he remembered Sarashe's face. It wasn't much, but at least it was something.

"Goku, about what happened a few days ago… Did I often call you a stupid monkey?" He asked me without looking at me. Did he still feel bad about it? I gently patted his back.

"Yeah, but only when you were irritated. You called me by name too." I told him. It seemed to make him feel a little better. We didn't say anything else. We just sat there until Hakkai came back and told us to go inside.

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><p>Hakkai's diary entry 12<p>

_March 25 evening_

_Nothing special happened today. The only thing that still worries me is that there may be demon blood in Sanzo's veins. I'm worried, but since nothing bad has happened I guess I shouldn't really be complaining. I left the inn for Gojyo to guard today. I felt the need to gather some information on Sarashe's advances. It appears that a demon has destroyed a lot of temples recently. I don't know why. I've also heard that he's searching for blonde men. That cannot be a good sign. Does that mean he knows that Sanzo is alive? I certainly hope not. Sanzo's telling me to go to sleep. So I guess worrying will have to wait until tomorrow._


	9. Ch eight: Countdown to disaster

This is the last chapter for a while. I have a lot of exams and my book is getting published, nut I'll write during my summer vacation!

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><p>Chapter 8 – Countdown to disaster<p>

Hakkai's diary entry 13

_March 26_

_It is five days left until we'll reach the mountains. I wonder what it is that Sanzo wants to show me. He doesn't really tell me much about it. When I asked him he just smiled and told me that it was a secret. If I was Gojyo I would probably be pissed by now. Gojyo has tried to make Sanzo start smoking again. He just coughed and told him that he didn't like it. Gojyo was in a state of shock. I'm happy though. If Sanzo doesn't smoke it means he won't die earlier or by cancer. Goku feels the same way as me. Sanzo doesn't really get why we are so happy. When we told him that he smoked a bit too much before he lost his memories he just shook his head and muttered to himself. I guess he doesn't want to believe it. I've been going through his current personality as well as lost personality in my head and I must say that they're total opposites. The normal Sanzo would be pissed if he saw himself now. I need to stop here for now. I'll write when I get the chance._

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><p>Hakkai's diary entry 14<p>

_March 27_

_This is not good. This is definitely not good. Sanzo is mad at me. He refuses to talk to me, but I guess it's my fault for not listening to him. What happened was that Gojyo and Goku went to collect firewood and I had decided to use that time to my advantage. So I had moved closer to Sanzo and had started kissing his neck. He had told me to stop since Goku and Gojyo could be back at any moment, but I had just muttered that he shouldn't worry so much and of course the two of them had come back and saw everything. So that's why Sanzo's mad at me. Gojyo's still teasing him and Goku hasn't said a word yet. I should have listened to him. I have to make it up to him somehow. I know! There's a small village right before the mountains. We'll stop by for just a couple of hours and I'll buy a nice bottle of wine that we can drink when we get to the place Sanzo wants us to go. That should cheer him up a little. Right?_

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><p>Hakkai's diary entry 15<p>

_March 28_

_Sanzo still doesn't speak to me. I asked him if he still was mad and the only answer I got was that he wasn't. After that he continued to not speak to me. I don't know what to do. There are a lot of weird things going on. Goku avoids Sanzo. Gojyo isn't smoking and that makes me worried. We haven't been attacked by demons in some time too. They use to attack frequently, but there has been no sign of them. I wonder why? Maybe they're just waiting for the right time? When we sleep? No, they would have attacked by now if that was it. Maybe they can't find us? That could be the answer. It was likely that was it, but it still doesn't feel right. It feels as if I am missing a piece of the puzzle. Let's see. I'm going through everything that's happened in my head, but it seems I can't figure it out. Maybe it will come to me if I sleep on it. It could work._

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><p>Hakkai's diary entry 16<p>

_March 29_

_Two days left until we reach the mountains and I have some good news. Sanzo is talking to me again, but he refuses to answer my questions. I guess he has his reasons and that I just have to figure them out for myself. I also have some bad news. The demons I was thinking about yesterday have shown up. They attacked seemingly out of nowhere and even landed a good hit on Gojyo. He couldn't move his left arm for three hours after that. Goku seemed to take out his stress on the poor things. Sanzo actually joined us in this fight. He used the banishing gun. His aim wasn't the best, but it seems he still somewhat know when to shoot. He actually managed to kill quite a few demons and he didn't get any injuries at all. Gojyo was the only one who got hurt this time. After that we continued as usual and nothing else happened. I've been thinking about Kougaiji and his gang these past two hours. We haven't seen them for quite some time now. Maybe we'll meet them soon._

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><p>Hakkai's diary entry 17<p>

_March 30_

_Tomorrow we'll reach our destination, but right now we're on our way to the village just below the mountains. It's not really a village anymore. Last time we saw the place it was definitely a village, but now it was more like a small town. We can see it from the hill we're currently driving on. I can definitely find a nice bottle of wine there. I can't wait to see the look on Sanzo's face when I show it to him tomorrow. I'll write more tonight._

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><p>Sanzo's POV<p>

I couldn't help but feel that the place was familiar. I wasn't sure if I had been there before, but it definitely felt like I had. All buildings were painted white and the streets were lively. I really liked how every citizen seemed to smile. I smiled myself. The air felt fresh too.

"You look happy." I heard Hakkai say and turned my gaze towards him.

"It's because I am." I told him and continued walking. I could hear Hakkai tell Gojyo that he had to run an errand and that he wanted him to keep an eye on me. Typical. Goku was already over by an old lady that sold meat buns. I felt generous so I bought one for him.

"Wow, that's a rare sight. Sanzo actually bought it for him without complaints?" Someone said. I didn't recognize the voice so I turned around. The voice belonged to a demon with long red hair and marks in his face. He looked familiar, like I should know who he was.

"Who…" I began, but Goku interrupted me.

"Kougaiji!" He yelled and waved towards him. The redheaded demon sighed.

"I see you haven't disposed of the monkey yet." He said and looked me in the eyes. I blinked. Kougaiji? Was that the demon's name? It didn't ring a bell. Not at all. He took a step forward and looked at my shoulders.

"I see you're still wearing the scripture. Fortunately for you I don't need it anymore." He said. Picture's flashed before my mind. Pictures of this man.

"You were our enemy…" I said slowly. He gave me a weird look and then turned towards Gojyo.

"What have you done to him? He's kind of… different." He said and raised an eyebrow. Gojyo glared at him.

"WE haven't done anything to him. He doesn't remember much. He only remembers these past two years and some parts here and there." He answered and went to yell at Goku who ran from shop to shop looking at food. I looked after them, but I could feel Kougaiji look at me. I turned around and met his gaze. He was grinning.

"Memory loss… What do you remember about me?" He asked me. I looked surprised for a moment.

"Well… You were our enemy before. Your name is Kougaiji. You have a small group of friends. That's about it." I told him and shrugged.

"I see. Well, tell Hakkai I said hi and that if he needs me he could find me at the small in. Me and my friends will be staying there for three days." And with those words Kougaiji left me alone.

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><p>Hakkai's POV<p>

I had the bottle of wine. Hakuryu were waiting for us in his jeep form. I left the bottle with him and went to search for the others. I found Sanzo first. He was alone in the middle of the street. I knew I shouldn't have trusted Gojyo.

"Where are the others?" I asked him as we walked down the street.

"Probably where there is food." Sanzo answered me. We walked in silence for a while before Sanzo spoke again.

"I met this demon named Kougaiji. He told me to say hi from him and that if you needed him in the next three days you could find him at the small inn." He said. I blinked in surprise. Kougaiji? Here? It seems like all my thoughts come true. First the demon attack and now Kougaiji? Well, it was something I liked this time. I shook my head, wondering how I could miss everything and spotted Gojyo. He was literarily dragging Goku by his feet away from a food stand. Sanzo laughed a little. I smiled and walked over to them to make them stop fighting with each other so that we could go back to Hakuryu and leave the town.

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><p>Hakkai's diary entry 17<p>

_March 30 evening_

_Gojyo's driving at the moment. That gives me time to write. We've been driving for hours. We'll stop for the night soon. We'll probably reach our destination at noon tomorrow. Then Sanzo can show me what he wanted to show me and we could drink wine together. He's already asleep. He's lying down with his head in my lap. It makes it a little hard to write, but it's worth it. Goku's asleep too. I know because he's snoring rather loudly. Ah… He's drooling too. I wonder if he dreams about food. Gojyo looks tired. Maybe I should tell him to stop. Yeah, I'll do that. Just a minute…_

_There. We've stopped now. Gojyo fell asleep as soon as he turned of the engine. Poor guy was exhausted. I guess I should follow their example and sleep too. Good night then. I'll write more tomorrow._


	10. Words from the author

I'm sorry, but the cable to my computer broke this afternoon and I'm unable to post any new chapters for a while. I will fix' this problem as soon as possible.

Diana Wong


	11. Ch nine: The deal, broken

Chapter 9 – The deal, broken

Sanzo's POV

We were there, the place in the mountains where we would stay. It was an abandoned house, but in perfect shape. Sarashe had told me we could use it after all. The demon made me remember that this was the place where the deal would happen and it would happen tonight. I bit my lip as the others went into the house.

"Nice place. I can't believe that anyone would abandon this." Gojyo said and sat down in the big purple couch. Goku ran off somewhere. No one really bothered to look for him. He would be back when he got hungry. I walked into the master bedroom. The walls were painted white and there was a big window to the left. In the middle of the room stood a huge bed. It looked really comfortable. I decided to lie down and close my eyes for a minute. I had been right about the bed. It really was comfortable. Someone sat down beside me. My guess was that it was Hakkai and I was right.

"I understand why you wanted to go here. It's a nice place. It's quiet and the view is just… fantastic." He said and sighed lightly. He leaned over me and placed a kiss on my cheek. I smiled and opened my eyes.

"I'm glad you like it. The thing I wanted to show you… I can't do it until it's dark outside." I said and sat up. He looked at me with a curious expression.

"I can't wait to see what it is."

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><p>Gojyo's POV<p>

I whistled. This place was way bigger than it looked. It was huge! I sat down in the big sofa.

"I could live like this." I mumbled to myself as the monkey entered the room. He looked gloomy. I raised an eyebrow.

"Hey monkey! What are you so depressed about?" I asked him. He sighed and sat down beside me.

"It's just that… I wanted to spend more time with Kougaiji. We haven't seen them for ages and he stayed for just a few minutes." He said and sighed again.

"Hey, if you sigh that much you'll grow older than… Uh… forget it… I forgot you were locked up in that… Whatever." I mumbled and shook my head. Why did I bother? The monkey could cry for as much as I cared. At the moment I only felt the need for a smoke. I left the room with the cigarette already between my lips. I lit it when I came outside.

"This is great… Almost. I could have a nice man… WOMAN here with me. A blonde… REDHEAD next to me in the bed with beautiful purp… GREEN eyes! DAMN IT!" I kicked a stone. Damn it all to hell! I couldn't get Sanzo out of my head! Not since the labyrinth! Stupid wish! How could I ever forget those lustful eyes or him moaning my name? So stupid that it only lasted for like five minutes. God freaking damn it! I couldn't even touch him. He was like Hakkai's property! I could almost see the sign before me. It said: Hakkai's property! No touching except for Hakkai himself.

"Damn…"

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><p>Hakkai's POV<p>

"So… When can I open my eyes?" I asked with a smile. Just a few minutes before Sanzo had told me to close my eyes and follow him. I had the wine bottle with me. He hadn't noticed it yet though. He stopped.

"Okay, you can open your eyes now." He said softly. I slowly opened my eyes. We were standing on a cliff. The full moon shone down on us and the scenery was spectacular. The only thing I could do was to stare at the beautiful landscape. Then I slowly looked around. Except for the really long way down there were a few bushes and a big oak. I didn't know how Sanzo knew about this place, but I didn't mind. The place was just perfect. I smiled towards him and kissed his cheek.

"What a surprise. This place is amazing." I said. He blushed lightly.

"Well… I thought you might like it." He said and sat down. I sat down beside him and showed him the bottle of wine. He raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, that is a good idea." He said. We didn't have any glasses though. I opened the bottle and let him have the first taste. He took the bottle and took a light sip. He licked his lips and handed me the bottle.

"That's a really nice wine. It must have been expensive." He said and smiled. I smiled back at him.

"It doesn't matter. It was worth it." I said and drank of the wine. It really was good. It went on like that for a couple of minutes. Sanzo and I drank some wine and watched the scenery. We talked a little whenever something came to our minds, but most of the time we just sat there quietly.

"You know… I don't regret coming with you guys at all. It's been fun." Sanzo said. I looked at him suspiciously.

"You sound like you're going to leave us." I said. He didn't look at me. In fact he just ignored my comment.

"Hakkai, do you think Goku would hate me if I left you guys for a little while? I know for sure that Gojyo would. Would **you** hate me?" He finally looked at me.

"Are we speaking hypothetically?" I asked. He nodded slowly.

"It depends on what reason you chose to leave." I said and watched him. His expression was a bit sad.

"Would you hate me if I left you three to protect you?" He asked me and looked me straight into the eyes. I did not like where this was going.

"No, not at all, but I would be really sad and come after you." My words made Sanzo smile. He gave me a small kiss on the cheek.

"I thought you would say that…" He whispered. I gently took his face in my hands and kissed his soft lips.

"Why are you asking me all this Sanzo?" I asked and kissed him again. I could feel his hands grab my shirt, but he couldn't answer since I was still kissing him. I finally withdrew and looked him in the eyes.

"Because I…" He began, but got interrupted by a voice.

"How sweet. It's time to go Sanzo." My eyes widened in shock. I could recognize that voice anywhere. It was Sarashe! I quickly got up on my feet to stand in front of Sanzo.

"Wait Hakkai…" The blonde began, but this time I interrupted him.

"What are you doing here Sarashe? You won't get Sanzo a second time!" I yelled. If only I could get Gojyo's or Goku's attention. Sarashe laughed.

"Oh, but your little boyfriend here promised to come with me by his own free will. Isn't that so Sanzo?" he said with an evil grin. I slowly turned around to look at Sanzo.

* * *

><p>Sanzo's POV<p>

Hakkai was looking at me with a questioning expression.

"It's true. He promised me he wouldn't hurt you guys if I went with him. I'm sorry Hakkai." I said and bit my lip. I slowly walked past him to stand beside Sarashe. The evil demon put an arm around my shoulders. Hakkai stared at us like he couldn't believe it.

"Sanzo…" He said. Sarashe smiled.

"We can't have this memory loss, right Sanzo? If we don't fix that you won't be like I want you to." He said. I got confused. What did he mean? Sarashe laughed and gently patted my head.

"You look so confused little monk. Let me explain it to you. In order for me to rule over the entire universe and to be immortal and blablabla… You need some special ingredients. That is the blood of a priest. Oh, but not just any priest. No, we need a Sanzo priest. The strongest one. That my friend is you." He said. All he needed was my blood?

"What has anything of that got to do with my memory?" I asked him. Sarashe smiled again.

"You can't just take the Sanzo priest's blood. No, there's more to it. You need a special place. A place with a high tower, which I already have. You need to draw a pentagram. That's done too. After that you need to kill five children and put their bodies in each of the pentagram's five edges. Then it's your turn. For this ritual to succeed the Sanzo priest must lie in the middle of the pentagram, but that's not all. The priest must be broken. Not physically, but mentally! I had almost finished breaking you when you managed to escape and lock away your memories. I don't have the time to break you again, so I just have to release your memories." I stared at him while he talked. Suddenly his hand that had been resting on my shoulder covered my eyes. I tried to pry it away, but he was too strong. My head began to hurt. It didn't hurt much at first, but soon it hurt so much that I thought I would die. I screamed in pain.

"Stop it… Please…" I begged him, but Sarashe just continued with whatever he was doing. Suddenly he let go of me. I fell to the ground. My head was still hurting. A few pictures flashed before my mind. Goku behind bars. Hakkai covered in blood. Gojyo flirting with several women. Someone helped me on my feet. I turned around to look at whoever it was that helped me. It appeared to be Goku.

"Goku…" I said with a pained moan.

"Sanzo, are you okay?" He asked worriedly. I nodded slowly.

"Yeah, where's Gojyo… and Hakkai? Where's Hakkai?" I asked him. I felt the panic rising. What if Sarashe had hurt them? Goku gave me a calm smile.

"Don't worry. They're okay. Gojyo's the one who pushed Sarashe so that he let go of you. Hakkai's helping him fight Sarashe at the moment." He said. I gasped.

"They can't fight him! He will kill them!" I exclaimed. I looked around until I saw them a few meter away. Gojyo got hit with some kind of spell in the chest and flew a couple of meters before he landed on the ground. He slowly got up in a sitting position. He seemed to be relatively okay. Sarashe hissed and grabbed Hakkai by the collar. He slowly let his claws sink into his shoulder. Hakkai screamed. I couldn't take seeing him in pain like this.

"Stop it Sarashe! Don't hurt him! You promised you wouldn't!" I cried out. Sarashe turned his gaze towards me.

"As you wish." He said with a grin and threw Hakkai towards the edge of the cliff.

"NO!" I screamed. Goku ran to help him. I couldn't move. More pictures flashed through my mind. It was really painful. Someone grabbed me by the arm. I looked up. It was Sarashe. He had won. He teleported us away from there while laughing hysterically.

* * *

><p>Goku's POV<p>

I saw Hakkai fly over the edge and ran as fast as I could. I managed to catch his hand before he was lost for good. This time there was no water beneath, only solid ground. I helped him climb up again before turning around. Sanzo was gone. So was Sarashe.

"Damn it!" I yelled and slammed my fist down on the ground.

"Why do I always fail to save him?" Hakkai was breathing heavily. His shoulder probably hurt really badly, but he still put his hand on my head.

"Don't worry Goku. We'll find him. We know that they're in a place with a high tower and didn't you say that Kougaiji was in town?" He said. It made me feel a little better.

"Yeah, you're right…" I said and turned towards Gojyo.

"Hey Kappa! How long are you just going to sit there?" Gojyo glared at me.

"Hey monkey! Stop calling me a kappa!" He said and hit me in the back of my head. Hakuryu and I were the only ones who didn't get injured. The little dragon turned into the famous jeep and we sat down. Hakkai seated himself in the driver's seat as usual. Gojyo got dumped in the back. I sat on Sanzo's usual seat. It felt wrong for some reason. I never got to sit there. Hakkai noticed the change in mood and gave me a small smile.

"Cheer up Goku. We'll get him back again." He said. I really hoped Hakkai was right.

* * *

><p>Sanzo's p.o.v<p>

I slowly opened my eyes. Where? Where was I? I slowly sat up, but stopped midway when I heard rattling. I slowly looked down. Did I see a chain around my wrist? I followed the chain with my eyes. It ended in a wall. Why was I chained to a wall? Where were Goku and Gojyo and… Hakkai? Suddenly it all came back to me. Sarashe had broken our deal. More memories flashed before my eyes, but these were different. They had nothing to do with me since my memory loss. Could it be my lost memories? My head started to hurt again and I curled myself into a small ball. It hurt. It hurt so much. I remembered everything. My master. Me finding Goku and then meeting Hakkai and Gojyo. Our adventures. It stopped abruptly when I suddenly remembered not being able to breathe. I must have lost consciousness after that part, but why didn't the stream of memories continue? Could it be that the blocked part came after me fainting? I heard a door open and painfully lifted my head to look at whoever it was. It appeared to be Sarashe. The demon was grinning like a madman.

"You're awake." He said and slowly made his way over to me. He grabbed my by the collar and pulled me up enough for our noses to touch.

"Do you remember now priest Sanzo?" He asked. I glared at him, suddenly feeling annoyed.

"Let go you filthy demon." I hissed and then blinked in surprise. Did I just say that? Sarashe seemed to be pleased with my rude answer. He let go of me and I fell back on the floor,

"But there are still some parts missing, the part where I break you. Guess I have to help you." He said and straddled me. I tried to push him off.

"What are you doing?" I asked. He leaned closer, his face just a few inches from mine.

"I'm forcing you to remember Priest Sanzo." He said and closed the space between us.

* * *

><p>Before you ask... Yes, I'm a little bit of a sadist. ^^<p> 


	12. Ch ten: Defiled memories

I'm sorry for taking so long to finish this chapter! First I had a writer's block and I really couldn't get past it! D= When I finally managed to write something it was time to go to Greece and now school's started again. So I'm sorry for taking so long! I'm also sorry that this chapter is a bit shorter than the others, but nexter chapter will reveal some things about Sarashe and some of you probably won't like it. ^^'' So I'll try to write chapter 11 faster.

* * *

><p>Chapter 10 Defiled memories<p>

Hakkai's p.o.v

A sudden shudder made me look around. I didn't know where it came from, but the feeling it left behind wasn't pleasant at all.

"Did you guys feel that?" Goku asked.

"Feel what?" Gojyo said in an irritated tone.

"It feels like something bad is happening." Goku answered him. I nodded. Something bad was going on and everything around me screamed that Sanzo was in danger.

"Are you sure Kougaiji is staying at that inn?" I asked Goku as we walked closer to the inn.

"I'm absolutely positive." Goku answered me. I sighed. He had better be right. We entered the inn. The first thing we saw was Kougaiji's younger sister. She was arguing with Kougaiji himself about how she hadn't been able to see Sanzo earlier. They both stopped when they saw us enter. Kougaiji sighed, probably because we saved him from the argument.

"Hakkai." He said and nodded.

"Kougaiji." I answered. Goku was already in an argument with Lirin and Gojyo was in a bad mood because of it. Kougaiji's eyes searched our party and then met my gaze.

"Where's the monk?" He asked and raised an eyebrow. I stepped forward.

"That's exactly why we're here."

* * *

><p>Normal p.o.v<p>

Sarashe looked down at the broken priest. It had taken a great deal of effort to bring back his memories and finally break him. The fierce glow in Sanzo's eyes was gone and replaced with the gaze of a broken man.

"How are you feeling Sanzo?" He asked and gently touched the monk's cheek. The priest quickly withdrew, further away from Sarashe. The chain kept him from leaving the room, so he went as far away from the demon as possible. Sarashe laughed.

"What a nice reaction. I see that you're not as broken as I want you to be." He said and walked closer to Sanzo. The blonde's eyes widened, Sarashe hoped it was with fear.

"G-Go away!" He stuttered when the demon came closer.

"I can't do that Sanzo-sama." Sarashe said, almost singing and fell to his knees in front of the shivering blonde. He let his fingers brush over the mark on Sanzo's forehead.

"It's my duty to take good care of you. Very good care indeed. Haven't I been nice to you?" He said and let his fingers slide lower. Down his face and neck until it finally rested over his heart. Sanzo shook his head. He did not call being chained to a wall in a dark room and getting his brain fucked up being treated nicely.

"D-Don't touch me." He stuttered and smacked Sarashe's hand away. Sarashe pouted.

"That wasn't very nice of you Sanzo-sama. I will have to punish you again." He said and pressed their foreheads together.

"And this time I promise you it will hurt."

* * *

><p>Hakkai's p.o.v<p>

Kougaiji had agreed to help us. It somehow made me certain that we could take Sarashe down, but the problem was to find him.

"He said it had to be a really high place. Do you know any places like that around here Kougaiji?" I asked. Kougaiji seemed to think about it for a second.

"Yes, there is one that comes to mind. The tower Shala." He said. Gojyo stared at him.

"Are you kidding me? The tower of Shala? That's one lame name." He said. Kougaiji glared at him.

"It may have a… lame…. Name, but it's definitely not a place to mess with. It's guarded by things that no one has lived to tell, but I do know that the only ones who can get inside unharmed are the high priests or really high ranked demons." He said. I nodded.

"I see. It can be hard for us to get inside then." I said. Kougaiji nodded.

"Yes, but you should be able to get inside if you come with me." He said. I nodded.

"It sounds reasonable." I said. Kougaiji was considered a high ranked demon after all and with his help we could reach the top and rescue Sanzo.

"When are we leaving?" Goku asked, worry written all over his face. Kougaiji looked at him.

"Now. I'll go get Dokugakouji and Yaone and then we'll rescue the priest." He said before he went to get the others.

"I wonder what he's going to say to that little sister of his." Gojyo said. I nodded.

"Yes. Miss Lirin can't come with us. It's too dangerous."

* * *

><p>"So what exactly did you say to Lirin?" Gojyo asked curiously. The orange haired girl hadn't come with us. She had even waved them off with a big smile on her lips.<p>

"You would really like to know wouldn't you?" Kougaiji said with a grin. Gojyo glared at him.

"Bastard." He muttered under his breath. I smiled. Surprisingly enough all of us had fitted in the jeep. We could se The tower of Shala just a short distance away. The sky got darker the closer we got to the tower. The tower itself was like a black shadow against the sky. I felt like something horrible was about to happen when I looked at it.

"Hey Hakkai… Do you think Sanzo's okay?" Goku asked quietly. He was sitting in Sanzo's usual seat. I glanced over at him. He looked really down.

"I don't know Goku. I don't think he's dead, but I'm worried about his mental health." I said. I hoped we weren't too late. The jeep stopped in front of the tower. Maybe Sanzo was okay. Maybe Sarashe hadn't been able to break him completely. I would definitely save him.

* * *

><p>Sarashe's p.o.v.<p>

I patted the little monk on his head. He didn't react. He just continued looking out into nothing.

"Maybe I was a little too hard on you." I said with a small smile. I could feel someone entering the tower and my smile widened.

"It seems that your friends are here." I said and lifted him up before placing him in the middle of the pentagram. The dead children were lying in their places too. Everything was perfect. I picked up a small knife and carefully made a small cut in the priest's arm.

"There. I will wrap you up later. Now I have to make sure that your friends won't find you. You will thank me for this later." I said and kissed his pale forehead.

"You won't be sad or angry anymore. You'll be happy. This is all for you after all. So be sure to thank me later Koryu." I gave him a small smile before I left to deal with the intruders.

* * *

><p>Hakkai's p.o.v.<p>

"Wow… There sure are a lot of stairs…" Gojyo said. I nodded. It felt like we had been walking for hours. Even Goku looked a bit tired.

"We're soon there." Kougaiji said. Nothing had attacked us on our way up and it was probably thanks to Kougaiji being there.

"What will we do when we get there…?" Gojyo asked.

"We'll kick Sarashe's ass and save Sanzo!" Goku exclaimed. I sighed. This wasn't going anywhere.

"We can't just rush in without a plan and I'm pretty sure that Sarashe knows that we're here." I said as we finally reached the end of the stairs.

"Oh, yes. He knows that you're here alright." A voice said, making all of us look up. Sarashe was standing a few meters away. Behind him was a big red door. Goku glared at him. I grabbed him before he could rush over there without thinking. Sarashe laughed.

"Let's see. Goku, Hakkai, Kougaiji, Dokugakouji, Yaone and… that redhead from Sanzo's group huh?" He said as he looked at us. Gojyo glared.

"Hey! I have a name you know!" He yelled. Sarashe gave him an amused look.

"Yes, I believe it was… kappa, right?" Both me and Goku grabbed Gojyo before he could do anything stupid.

"It's Gojyo you asshole! It's GOJYO!" He screamed.

"Calm down Gojyo!" I said to him. He glared at me, but stopped trying to fight me off.

"You are one funny little group." Sarashe said and laughed.

"Well. The one you're looking for is beyond these doors. Come and get him… if you can." He continued and disappeared.

* * *

><p>I'm so going to kill that guy!" Gojyo said. He was really pissed. Kougaiji started to walk towards the doors. Nothing happened. Could it really be that easy? He got closer. Still nothing happened. He reached out for the door and suddenly he was flying through the air to crash into a wall.<p>

"Kougaiji!" Dokugakouji exclaimed. No one had seen anything happen to the demon. He had just suddenly been sent flying by nothing. Yaone hurried over to him.

"Are you okay?" She asked worriedly. He groaned and answered that he was fine. I stared at the door. What was blocking it? There wasn't a barrier involved. No. There was something else. It was starting to feel a little familiar. There was a faint memory… That time when they thought Sanzo was killed… three years ago… Right before he had fainted… When Sanzo fainted… I was starting to see what was going on.

"I think there is some kind of invisible creature in front of that door." I said loud enough for everyone to hear. Yaone picked up something from god knows where and threw it at the door. It exploded in a cloud of purple smoke. I could see something move by the door. The smoke had made the creature visible by turning it purple.

"It looks like an octopus!" Goku exclaimed. It was true that the creature resembled an octopus, but it wasn't.

"Gojyo, do you think you can get it away form the door?" I asked the redheaded half demon.

"I'm on it." Gojyo answered and attacked the octopus creature. It tried to hit him, but missed. It let out an irritated hiss and moved from the door to try again. Dokugakouji decided to help Gojyo out and joined the fight. They managed to lure the creature further away from the door. Me, Kougaiji, Goku and Yaone moved towards the doors. The creature didn't notice us. Not even when Goku opened the door and went through. I was the last one who went through the door and closed it behind us, leaving Dokugakouji and Gojyo to deal with the creature.

* * *

><p>TO BE CONTINUED... YES! I'm giving you a cliffhanger! Aren't I nice? ^^<p> 


	13. NOT an update

NOT an update!

I just want to say that I really REALLY appreciate your reviews and that I'm sorry for being a slow dumbass meanie. *bows* I'm sorry! It's been a lot with school since this is my last year and I will probably have even less time to write this spring, BUT I want to let you know that I haven't abandoned the story! I've started writing the chapter and I thought I'd ask you if there's something you'd like to see in the story? I might actually use something you suggest. So please be patient! I'll update as soon as possible!

Diana Wong


	14. Ch eleven: Sarashe's real intentions

Look who's not dead! ME! You know what is dead? My computer! Bless its soul. Well, here is the eleventh chapter. (Finally) And I'm sorry... but I'm so bad at writing fighting scenes. I really really tried, but... no. So I came up with a solution... You will see when you read... So... yeah...

* * *

><p>Chapter 11 – Sarashe's real intentions<p>

Normal p.o.v.

"Watch out!" Gojyo yelled, extending Shakujo, letting the chain wrap itself around one of the monster's tentacles. Dokugakouji, who were fighting off another tentacle, threw him thanks. The crescent blade dug itself deep into the chained tentacle, making the monstrous octopus wannabe scream, or whatever the sound was.  
>"The question is how we kill this thing!?" Gojyo yelled. Dokugakouji said nothing. He was thinking, hard. There had to be some way to stop it. There had to be... That's right!<br>"Gojyo! Search for its weak spot!" He yelled to his younger brother and dodged a tentacle. The monster was pissed. Couldn't these stupid people let it be?! It was just trying to guard the door, but no. They just had to try and get past and then hurt it! They'd pay!  
>"Weak spot got it!" Gojyo yelled at the same time as a tentacle hit him hard in the stomach, sending him flying.<p>

* * *

><p>Hakkai's p.o.v.<p>

More stairs, but these where different. Not visibly different. No, they felt different. Like we were walking towards our doom. It was quiet. Too quiet. I was getting worried. What if we were too late?  
>"There's a door up there!" Goku suddenly exclaimed. Me, Kougaji and Yaone looked up. There really was a door.<br>"Let's hurry." I said and ran up the last steps. I carefully put my hand on the door knob, took a deep breath and opened the door. The scene was... Not what I had expected, but just as bad. I could see both Sanzo and Sarashe. Sanzo was lying in the middle of a pentagram, unmoving. I would've thought he was dead if I hadn't seen his chest rise with each breath. Sarashe was standing above him, painting Sanzo's lips red with his youkai blood. Where those bodies children...?  
>"Hakkai!" Goku said somewhere behind me. I moved. Forward. The others followed, gasping when they saw what I saw. Goku were the first one to speak. I could hear the anger in his voice.<br>"What are you doing to Sanzo?!" He yelled. Sarashe finished painting Sanzo's lips, stepped out of the pentagram and looked at us.  
>"I'm making him a youkai." He answered and grinned. ... What...?<br>"What?" Goku voiced my thoughts. Sarashe laughed.  
>"I said that I'm turning him into a youkai, a demon." He said. That wasn't possible, was it?<br>"I've never heard of something like that." I said, glaring at him. He looked at me.  
>"Oh, Hakkai. If only you knew. You know so little. You don't even know who your enemy is." He said. Goku clenched his fists, trying to control his anger.<br>"You're Sarashe!" He growled. Said youkai laughed.  
>"That's right, but I was a human once." He said. What?<br>"Let me tell you a little story."

* * *

><p>Sarashe's p.o.v.<p>

"Once upon a time there lived a Sanzo priest. His name was Koumyou Sanzo. He had a young apprentice which was very dear to him, but one night Koumyou Sanzo was killed and he couldn't stay with his precious apprentice, but suddenly he could feel the life flow into him. He could breathe, see and hear. He had been reborn, but not as a human. At first he was terrified. He looked different. He felt different. He wasn't human anymore. He was a youkai. It scared him. He didn't know who made it happen or why, only how. He took on a new name, feeling he didn't deserve his old one. As he explored his new body he found out that several years had passed since his human body had died. He didn't know what to think or believe anymore, but suddenly it hit him. Maybe it wasn't so bad being a youkai after all? He felt good... Better than ever. He felt power and other things. Things he had never felt before. Sarashe had been born. He started to seek his old apprentice, Koryu. What if the boy had died? His worry vanished as he finally found out. His old apprentice had become a Sanzo priest. Sarashe found him. He was hurt. Bleeding and his companions didn't do a very good job protecting him. Sarashe felt anger, hate. How could they fail at protecting his precious apprentice? He had to help him somehow. He knew what to do. He could turn his apprentice into a youkai. That way he could keep his apprentice by his side, protecting him, but to do that He needed to hurt him. Oh, he didn't want to hurt him. Didn't want to be cruel, but he had to. So he attacked his apprentice and his companions. He made them all believe that the apprentice died and secretly took him to a tower, where he tortured his mind with both truth and lies. It pained Sarashe to see his apprentice suffer, but it had to be done. He would be forgiven once it was complete, but the apprentice managed to escape, forgetting his past. All of it! So Sarashe had to redo everything and here we are." I finished my story, waiting for their reactions. They all looked pretty shocked.

* * *

><p>Hakkai's p.o.v.<p>

I couldn't believe it. Was this really happening?

"Then you're... Sanzo's dead master...?" I said quietly.  
>"Bingo." Sarashe said and laughed quietly. Goku was now shaking with anger.<br>"You... You bastard! He trusted you! He loved you like a father! How could you do that to him?!" He yelled. I looked at him. Hopefully he wouldn't go berserk. The only one who could stop him was very much unable to.  
>"Oh, but it had to be done. His mind would fight the ritual. There was no other way than to break him." Sarashe said. Goku growled.<br>"We're taking him back." I said, ready to fight if needed. Sarashe looked at me.  
>"I'm afraid you're too late, boy, the ritual has already begun."<p>

* * *

><p>Gojyo's p.o.v.<p>

I was trying to breathe. That hit to my stomach had really hurt. My brother was still fighting the monster. Weak spot. I couldn't see one. It had to have a weak spot!  
>"Where is it...?" I mumbled to myself. The monster had screamed when I had hit its tentacles, but it hadn't really done any severe damage. And the body was too hard. It had a very big eye though. Very big... The eye! Of course!<br>"The eye! Try impaling its eye!" I screamed. Dokugakouji looked at it.  
>"Only if you distract it!" He yelled back. Of course.<br>"Heh. Got it!" I grabbed Shakujo and attacked the monster.  
>"Oi! Ugly! I'm your real enemy. If you kill me he'll stop fighting you!" I yelled and drove the crescent blade of Shakujo into one of its tentacles. The monster screamed again and turned its attention towards me. Boy it was pissed. Dokugakouji withdrew and tried to find an opening. Why did I give him the easy part and why did this thing have so many damn tentacles!? I could see my big brother getting ready to try my idea and there he was, flying through the air, with his sword held above his head. I could see it as if in slow motion. The sword hit it's target. The monster screamed as if possessed and tried to shake him off. My brother just drove the sword deeper into its eye. The monster's screaming soon stopped as it fell to the ground, writhing in pain before finally lying still. It was dead. Me and my brother looked at each other, panting.<br>"We should go to where the others are." He said. I nodded.  
>"Yeah. Let's go."<p>

* * *

><p>Hakkai's p.o.v.<p>

I barely had the time to blink before Goku attacked Sarashe. The youkai, former human, easily avoided his attack, still smiling. I decided to join in the newly begun battle, throwing chi blasts towards him. Kougaiji and Yaone joined as well. My memories of the battle itself are a bit blurry. The only things I remember is Gojyo and Dokugakouji rushing into the room. Sarashe were definitely winning, until Gojyo decided that it was time to save Sanzo. Gojyo ran over to the motionless monk and dragged him out of the pentagram. Sarashe screamed telling him that it was stupid and that he shouldn't have done that. He got rid of Gojyo by deflecting one of my chi blasts towards him. He then hurried over to Sanzo. I could see Sanzo's fingers twitch lightly as Sarashe talked to him, stroking his face. I decided to treat Gojyo while Sarashe was worrying over Sanzo.  
>"I'm sorry Gojyo. Are you okay?" I asked, starting to heal him.<br>"I'm okay..." He answered. I looked back towards Sarashe and Sanzo at the same time as Sanzo actually spoke.  
>"I'm... sorry..." Bam. His gun was pressed against Sarashe's forehead. The youkai had a surprised look on his face. As if he couldn't believe it. I watched Sarashe die. I watched Sanzo's hand falling to the floor. I watched his gun sliding across the floor, stopping a few meters away.<p>

* * *

><p>It was quiet. I realized I was holding my breath.<br>"Sanzo!" Goku yelled, running over him. He shook the monk lightly, trying to make him open his eyes.  
>"Sanzo!" He got no answer.<br>"Hakkai! He's not breathing!" He yelled. I immediately forgot about Gojyo. His life wasn't in danger anyway. It was true. Sanzo wasn't breathing. I immediately searched for a pulse. I found one. It was very faint, but still there. I needed him to breathe. I had to do mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Goku watched, eyes filled with worry, as I was working to get Sanzo to breathe. The kid couldn't take Sanzo dying again, even if he actually hadn't died the first time.  
>"Come on Sanzo. Breathe..." I said quietly as I continued. This had to work! Sanzo suddenly coughed one time and I sighed with relief as he started to breathe again. Thank god...<p>

* * *

><p>Next chapter will probably be the last one!<p> 


	15. Ch twelve: Future

This might be the last chapter of memories of a monk! Thank ou for reading the story and hopefully you'll like the end! If you wanted something more to happen *hint hint* then please tell me so in a comment and maybe I can write something to put as an epilogue.

* * *

><p>Chapter 12 – Future<p>

Hakkai's p.o.v.

"Thank you for helping us Kougaiji." I said and poked my food with the chopsticks. Kougaiji shrugged.  
>"You've said it at least a hundred times now and I didn't really do anything." He answered. Lirin and Goku were arguing over something. Gojyo was flirting with some women or at least tried to. Yaone and Dokugakouji were discussing something else.<br>"How's the monk anyway?" Kougaiji continued. I sighed. Sanzo…  
>"Still unconscious…" I answered. It had been a week since we saved him from the tower of Shala and he had yet to wake up. I was scared. I was scared that he'd never wake up and I was scared that he'd wake up as well. What if he didn't remember anything again? What if he had all his memories back and decided to hate me or pretend like nothing happened between us? I didn't want that. I loved him. I loved him too much to be able to go through that.<br>"Still unconscious? Damn… I could ask Yaone to take a look at him if you want?" Kougaiji said.  
>"Yes. Please do."<p>

Gojyo's p.o.v.

Hakkai was a wreck. The guy barely ate, slept close to nothing and often spent the days sitting by Sanzo's bed, watching him. The guy needed to relax a little. At least enough to eat and sleep properly. I had been able to convince my brother to ask Kougaiji to get Hakkai out of that room. Goku wasn't in the best mood either, but Lirin was there to at least make him momentarily forget that he was feeling down. Me… I was still in shock I suppose. Who would've thought that Sarashe was Sanzo's old master…? That bastard… I sighed lightly and went to the monk's room. Still unconscious, just like Hakkai had told Kougaiji. I walked over to the bed. Sanzo was pale as always. His lips were slightly parted and his eyes closed. He looked… vulnerable. I sat down on the chair Hakkai usually occupied.  
>"Hi Sanzo…" I felt ridiculous, talking to an unconscious person.<br>"It's me Gojyo. I know you're not too fond of me, but just listen… okay? Hakkai and Goku really miss you… Hell I do too! I know you're here… but… still not really here. I would love to see you open your eyes soon. Not for my sake, but for Hakkai's and Goku's. Man… I feel ridiculous… I… what I meant to say… was… Please wake up soon. I'll gladly buy you a pack of smokes when you do…"

Hakkai's p.o.v.

"Well?" I asked nervously. Yaone looked up.  
>"Well… There doesn't really seem to be any wrong with him physically, but you probably already know that. The problem is probably in his mind and I can't do anything about that." She said quietly, standing up.<br>"I'm sorry Hakkai. I'm sorry I couldn't be of much help."  
>"It's okay…" I forced myself to smile. She smiled back.<br>"Take care…"  
>"I will." She left. I sat down on the chair, taking one of Sanzo's pale hands in mine. I gently kissed his knuckles, praying that he'd wake up soon.<br>"Please Sanzo… I need you." I whispered against the back of his hand. No response. I hadn't really expected one either. I closed my eyes. I could see him in front of me. He was smiling, calling my name. Oh Sanzo…

Hakkai's diary entry 18

_May 8_

_I haven't been writing here for a while. So much has happened. Sanzo got kidnapped. We found out Sarashe was his dead master. Sarashe is dead now though. Sanzo killed him and then fainted. He still hasn't woken up. It's been a week now. I'm worried. I'm so very worried about him. Why hasn't he woken up? Was there something I could have done to prevent everything from happening? I don't know. I just don't know! Goku's not being his normal self either. The only thing that keeps him going is the occasional fights with Kougaiji's little sister Lirin. I'm grateful that they've stayed. Gojyo, I don't know what he feels or thinks. I think he's the only one who's trying to give us others hope. I should be thankful, but I can't. I'm too worried. I can't take this much longer. I can't live knowing that he'll never wake up again… This might be the last time I write here._

Hakkai's diary entry 19

_May 16_

_Two weeks now. Sanzo still hasn't woken up. Heavy depression. Can't eat or sleep. Can't take it much longer._

Hakkai's diary entry 20

_May 18_

_It's raining._

Hakkai's p.o.v.

The rain wasn't helping. Not at all. It only made me even more depressed. I looked like a zombie. I hadn't been eating in days and neither had I slept anything. I was sitting by the window in Sanzo's room, watching the rain. Drip drop. Pouring down. I had to realize it. Sanzo wasn't going to wake up was he? He was going to sleep until he died. I felt like crying. Love sucked. It really really sucked. I heard something behind me. It was probably Goku, coming to check up on Sanzo like usual. I didn't say anything. I didn't feel like it.  
>"You need to eat Hakkai." Yeah, definitely Goku.<br>"Don't want to." I answered him and continued staring out the window. I heard a sigh and Goku left the room. Soon I heard sound again. Was he stupid?  
>"I said I didn't want anything to eat." I said, feeling annoyed.<br>"Ha…kkai…?" A weak voice said. I quickly looked towards the bed. Sanzo… Sanzo's eyes were open! He was looking at me! I quickly hurried over to his bed. If this was I dream…  
>"Yes, Sanzo?" I asked quietly.<br>"… What the hell has happened to you? You look like a damn zombie…" He said. I stared. Not only had he woken up. The old Sanzo was back.

Goku was crying. He was crying while hugging Sanzo.  
>"Get off me you stupid monkey." Was Sanzo's only response. Gojyo smiled.<br>"Here, I promised I'd buy you one if you woke up." He said and threw Sanzo a pack of smokes.  
>"Oh?" Sanzo gave him a suspicious look. I didn't know if I should cry, laugh or both at the same time.<br>"Do you remember everything?" Goku asked, probably wanting to make sure.  
>"What the hell do you mean with remember everything?" He asked, lighting a smoke, using Gojyo's lighter.<br>"I mean… do you have all your memories…? Nothing is missing?" Goku continued. Sanzo gave him a wondering look.  
>"What the hell are you talking about?" He asked. Me and Gojyo looked at each other.<br>"What is the last thing you remember before waking up here?" I asked him.  
>"What's with all these questions?" He asked, frowning. I sighed.<br>"Just answer the question." He shook his head lightly and mumbled something about us behaving weird.  
>"I remember defeating some demons before not being able to breathe. So what?" He said. Gojyo looked at me before speaking.<br>"That was three years ago." He said quietly. Sanzo snorted.  
>"Yeah right."<br>"It's true." I said, making him look at me. The room fell silent. Sanzo was still looking at me. He knew I wouldn't say it as some kind of prank.  
>"Three years…?"<p>

Hakkai's diary entry 21

_May 19_

_We had told Sanzo almost everything that had happened. There were just some parts left out, like Sarashe being his dead master and the part about us being together. He would hate it, but I don't know if I can go on like this. There's only been a day, but I already want to kiss him, hug him and just do things like that. He'd hate me if I tried. I'm sure of it. What should I do?_

Hakkai's p.o.v.

Everything was back to normal. Sanzo was sitting in the seat beside me while I drove. Gojyo and Goku were fighting in the back. Yes, everything was definitely back to normal. Yet, it didn't feel like normal. I glanced over at Sanzo. He looked irritated. Probably because of Goku's and Gojyo's fighting. I could see his hand grab his gun tighter. Any second now.  
>"Can you two shut up!?" He yelled and fired his gun. Gojyo ducked just in time.<br>"Hey! Are you trying to shoot me you stupid monk!?"  
>"If it makes you shut up!" Yeah, definitely normal. I sighed lightly and stopped the car.<br>"Let's take a short break." I mumbled and left the car. Goku followed and so did Gojyo and Sanzo. The two of them were still fighting.  
>"How come you didn't try to shoot the monkey huh!?" Gojyo yelled. Sanzo merely answered by giving him a death glare. Then Gojyo did something that made me surprised and jealous at the same time. He grabbed Sanzo by the collar and pulled him in for a kiss. I could see the shocked expression on Sanzo's face. Gojyo broke the kiss.<br>"Damn! I've been wanting to do that for so long! How did you like it Goldy locks?" He said. Sanzo was shaking with anger.  
>"You." He hissed. If I didn't know better I'd think he was about to kill Gojyo, but on the other side. Why not be safe? I grabbed Sanzo before he could shoot the redhead and pulled him away from there.<br>"Hakkai, let go. I'm going to blow that bastards brains out!"  
>"No, you're not." I said and pulled him away from the smirking Gojyo. Bastard.<p>

It took a little while and a couple of cigarettes, but Sanzo finally calmed down. Wow, imagine what he would have done to me if I had tried to kiss him?

"Sanzo…" I started. I didn't really know what I wanted to say. I guess I just wanted to talk.  
>"Yeah?" Sanzo answered and turned to look at me. His expression… looked soft. I didn't know how to interpret it.<p>

"Are you still angry?" I asked him.  
>"Not really." He answered, looking at me. Was that a hint of a smile? No, I was seeing things.<p>

"Maybe we should go back?" I said and took a few steps. Sanzo followed.  
>"You're quite a good kisser you know." He said. I froze. What? I turned around to look at him.<br>"W-what?" I asked him.  
>"I said you're quite a good kisser." He said again.<br>"B-but… You don't know how I… mean you shouldn't… but you…"  
>"I remember everything Hakkai. I actually thought you noticed that I was putting up an act before?" He said and raised an eyebrow. I stared. He knew. Oh god he knew. He didn't seem angry. Maybe I could try…? Yeah. I had to give it a shot. I stepped over to him.<br>"You think I'm a good kisser?" I asked. He nodded.  
>"Yeah, or at least from what I can tell. I'm not very experienced when it comes to kissing people."<br>"Figures." I hesitated only for a moment before I closed the space between us and kissed him. I was waiting for him to shoot me, but instead I got surprised when he kissed back. Sanzo, with memories and all, was kissing back! I felt relief. I felt happy. I soon had to break the kiss. Air was needed.  
>"But you… Why did you kiss back?" I asked him. Was Sanzo blushing? He was! I never thought I'd see the normal Sanzo blush.<br>"I'm not very good at showing my emotions Hakkai, but it's somehow become easier since I got my memories back. At least when it comes to… you." He said. I raised an eyebrow.  
>"Wait a minute. Are you trying to say that you like me?"<br>"I… Yes."  
>"… Are you feeling alright? You're not sick are you?" I asked him. He glared at me.<br>"Shut up. Forget I said anything." I laughed quietly.

"You don't love me then?" I asked teasingly. He blushed and glared at the same time.  
>"Shut up." He mumbled. I laughed again. It was kind of cute. In a Sanzo way.<br>"You're going to have to say it sooner or later." I said and kissed him lightly.


End file.
